Nadia - all 3 speakers

Krista: [00:00:00]

I've been following our next guest for quite a few years now, and it's an honor to finally have the chance to sit down with her today. Our next guest is an award winning actor, activist, and trauma integration clinician based in Toronto. With Canadian and Salvadorian Nahua roots, she combines her passion for the arts and social justice to advocate for clean drinking water, mental health awareness, and environmental justice.

With over a decade in social services, she consults for corporate and entertainment industries, offering trauma informed coaching and on set well being support. She's also hands on in activism, delivering clean water filtration systems and leading workshops in remote communities. Her work has earned national recognition, including the 2023 Waterfront Award for Community Activism and the 2021 Ontario Premier's Award.[00:01:00]

Recent projects include collaborations with Ronald McDonald House and as the on set therapist for the award winning series Little Bird. Hello, Nadia George. Welcome to Half Betty.

Nadia: Hi, thank you for having me. I'm so excited to be here today and to be with everyone. Um, yeah, I'm so excited just to dig in, I think.

Krista: That's good, because we're going to dig in and we're so happy that you're here.

Andrea: We're so excited to, to be on this call, as we've all said, for me, what I find particularly exciting is, I feel lucky in some ways that I didn't really know of, the work you were doing so much so that everything that I'm learning, I'm just like, oh my gosh, that's amazing and I want to know more about that.

so I'm thrilled to be able to sit back and hear your stories and hear what midlife and the [00:02:00] catalysts of midlife. And the transformation of midlife looks like for you. And, Krista and I have created a little bit of this lovely formula that we're starting to really feel helps people launch into these conversations.

We like to start with people sharing,

people's stories. And so stories. are made up of words. And this exercise is around identifying words.

So we would really love for our guests to start by sharing five words that they feel really captures who they are. Maybe it's their spirit. Maybe it's where they're at now, but just five words.

Nadia: as we think about that midlife, moment, right? In regards to, so, how are these words different or the same as when I was younger? And I was, thinking about that as you're saying it. And I would definitely say adventurous would be the first one. And I know that breaks down into so many other [00:03:00] things, but just adventurous in life in general, a risk taker.

I'm a huge risk taker. I'm definitely a disruptor and I embrace almost every moment I can being one. Um, an empath, I think just, Generally, with how I grew up in my own lived experiences, um, and the work that I do, being empathetic has really helped me in regards to myself, but also how I interact with the world.

Um, inquisitive. I'm definitely, I don't know if curious is the same thing, but, I'm very curious and inquisitive about the world.

I'd like to say that I'm loving. Yeah, I'm very loving. I love my friends and my family and, um, and just everyone I meet, I usually find something very, like, loving, [00:04:00] things that make me want to love people. Um,

Andrea: love that.

Nadia: and, oh, there's just, you know, it's interesting when I think about, Am I always a humble person? Probably not, and I think that a lot of my friends would be like You're seriously not going to use that word for yourself, are you? But when I think about humility and what actually grounds me, I really do try my best to tap into being that humble person and reminding myself that there is so much more than just myself that affects this world.

Um, so I, I try to guide myself. With that as well. And, and silly. I'm just, I'm silly. I'm silly and I'm outrageous.

Krista: I love this so much. I love that you have all these words because not everybody is able to Speak about themselves in this kind of way, And so it's such an [00:05:00] interesting way to start the podcast because it means somethingdifferent to everybody.

Nadia: Yeah, and we always get asked about. The good, words, because we want that. We want to pump ourselves up. But if I am, being humble and thinking about it, it's also, you know, I'm fearful and I am insecure. And I do have all of those things that I feel about myself as well.

Um, but you definitely try to look at the other good words you share and say, okay. But you know, here you are saying you're insecure, but yet you're all of these things. You're all of these other beautiful things as well. So I'm really glad that you do this, at the beginning because it really reminds us as we go into these conversations about just being authentic and being yourself in every moment when you can.

Andrea: I appreciate that you found that exercise also helpful, because we as humans find engaging in [00:06:00] Conversations, when you know that you're going to get into different topics that perhaps feel like they're full of a lot, there's memory, there's feeling, there's, a lot in what we talk about.

And so when we start with that playfulness, and we channel what, so many of us. push aside, which is that childlike wonder that exists in all of us. But as we get older, we learn by society's measure that we need to push that to the side. And so for me, one of the things that I've always, reflected on is something that a mentor years ago shared with me, which is, he really believes in approaching every day and every moment with childlike wonder and childlike curiosity and the spirit of, not having a story about something already in your mind, but being curious to find out what the story is.

And so I [00:07:00] think the playfulness of starting with, some words that describe Nadia. really help people, tap into that joy and that playfulness and that childlike space of just playing with words

So, thank you for participating.

and what we really like to do after we've collected a really good picture of Nadia and some words is help you now to a place of thinking about

something that feels like a catalyst or a moment. It could have been an experience. It could have been a conversation. It could have been you seeing something, but you feel like there was something. that presented itself as a bit of a pivot point or a moment that changed the trajectory and began a transformation as you evolved in this midlife.

Nadia: that's such a powerful question, isn't it? Because, putting on a therapy hat for a quick 2nd, you know, being a young mom at [00:08:00] the age of 18, you would Think, that would be the space where you're like, okay, this is when my whole life changed.

but one of the things that I've realized is being a young mom, I actually kind of grew up with my son. it was, one of those moments where we had a lot of really loving moments, a lot of learning. And I always had thought about it in the sense of when you're talking to people, when you're 25 to about 30, your brain is now just starting to fuse, right?

And then you have that 30 year kind of turmoil where it's like, oh, I don't know if I'm really interested in this and I'm going to get really heavy into my career. but coming into this where I do now, Consider this to be my midlife point turnaround really was when I. Came to realize that the man who loved me and, I [00:09:00] thought was my biological father my whole entire life up until two years ago was actually not my biological father and the trauma that I went through.

Navigating that brought me right back to all of those childhood moments, all of those childhood feelings of abandonment and neglect and everything that I had gone through as a kid growing up to thinking again, I don't know who I am. I don't know where I belong. I don't know who my community is. And I essentially really didn't at that point because I grew up believing.

And being told that I was of a genetic background of First Nations Canadian to Canada, and thinking these cultural things about myself, all of these teachings, that guided my life, the people I connected with. And although [00:10:00] my genetic basis didn't change when I found out that I was from a different part of, the turtle, I was from the tail instead of the shell of the turtle now, it did make me question everything.

It made me question about how I had moved, who I was, had I taken up space? Um, because, there is a a very important narrative,around Not taking up spaces that you shouldn't and, I was speaking with, an elder after this, all happened. And, this elder had said something very important to me.

she said, you can't. Hold guilt or blame yourself for stuff that you didn't know, but it's about what you do with the information that you have now, and how that guides your path that matters. And although I recognize that when people are saying they belong to 1 community and actually know [00:11:00] that they don't there is a real harm that happens there and we have to be very careful with that and in doing that work.

And that's where my turning point kind of happened was. Okay. Hold on a 2nd. I have to back up. I have to take the time to really do the work and to really understand and navigate and then doing, a DNA test way back in 2016 and they weren't as great as they are now in regards to being able to hone in on stuff, but it at that point had validated what I had always thought I knew about myself.

And then going back to saying, okay, now it's time to do that work in the right way, in the good way, and going back and doing a different DNA test to finding a half sister. And that just blew up my whole entire worldthat's how I found out that my biological father was different from the man that I was raised to believe was my biological father. being [00:12:00] that young, Being in that young child moment, I was like, okay, I now have to do some serious work, healing work, and here I am, a therapist, been a therapist for over 15 years, and all different kinds of therapy from child protection to alcohol, and drug addiction to mental health, and I'm like, okay, sorry, like, okay, it's, it's time to start taking medication.

My own advice, it's time for me to focus inwards and focus on me and that's when I really realized that I'm at this midlife point. I have accomplished a ton of things and hearing you talk about my bio. Sometimes I'm still like, wow, I can't believe I actually have done that all or achieved that all and feeling like it happened in such a short period of time to now realizing Oh, I have so much time to still do all the other things that I want to do.

[00:13:00] And this healing journey has really, brought me to a crossroads and it's about how I move through this that is going to determine every next step. And it's hard. It's hard not to be angry. It's hard not to, outwardly put your anger out there for everyone to see.

When you're feeling certain things about how things were dealt with, you know, even just in the past, me speaking with my mom about it, all of this stuff and just trying to remember who I am and what am I grounded in and what has been guiding me, you know, where is that North Star and finding that North Star and remembering, anger is something you're feeling.

It's something that is there, but it's not who you are. You are this loving, kind person and now it's time to be that person to yourself. And I did do a lot of somatic work, being a somatic therapist as well and a trauma [00:14:00] integration clinician. and understanding that we need to answer to our bodies. And before, I tried to have a few narrative conversations with some therapists and my body was not ready. It just wasn't. So I did go back and do that yoga work and do the meditation work and all of the things that I tell other people is really, really good for you. And in the two years, so from 2022 to this point now, I really feel like I've taken a lot of My own advice.

I'm in a very healthy, and healing point of my journey. And now I'm like, okay, this 13 year old child has been hugged. She's been loved. She's been, doted on. And now you have an obligation. To live for her. Who is she? Who did she want to be when she was young, I loved climbing trees.

I loved building forts. I would always stick up for my sisters and sometimes get in trouble for the things I would say, and be out [00:15:00] all hours of the night, which now that I look back, maybe wasn't the healthiest thing for a 13 year old or a 10 year old child to be doing. But it's, it's who I was.

And how do I do that now moving in a really good way of embracing her again and being like, okay, before I felt like I was on this journey kind of on my own. And when I say that, what I mean now is I have her with me and we're doing it together

Krista: That is so beautiful. that's a huge gift. Yeah.

Nadia: yeah, and this idea of, they say, you know, with every learning curve, with every, step in the journey, we begin to write a new chapter, and for me, I'm really not writing a new chapter. I'm writing a whole new book, and this book is going to be filled with so much love and so much adventure, and it's just, it's fantastic.

yeah, there'll probably be some failures and some tripping up and doing things, but that's how we learn. It's how we learn what [00:16:00] we like and what we don't like and, you know, trying differently and all of these amazing things that we do. So this I would definitely say is my mid life turning point.

And I love that you don't use or attach the word crisis to it because I have sat with a lot of people within my age range. And even when I look at it myself, I'm like, this isn't a crisis. This is a new finding. This is an exploration. this is midlife exploration and being able to now focus on myself, um, you know, when you have young kids, we, I, for anyone that has anyone they have to take care of, um, we know that we put a lot of time and effort into that and we can sometimes lose ourselves in it and now being in a position where I can be like, oh, I can just, yeah.

Kind of focus off me. we think it's selfish, but it's so loving. It's so kind. It's just such amazing things. So that was a little bit of a rant, [00:17:00] but I think that is kind of what has brought me to this midlife moment and the next steps for my journey. Um, as I always say, you know, my future self is so excited to meet me.

Andrea: And I know that and I'm so excited to meet her and I laugh with my friends because I'm going to be that 80 year old woman that's dancing, in fountains You absolutely are. Without a doubt.

Krista: Yep.

Nadia: I feel like asI'm aging, I actually feel like I'm getting younger.

I actually feel way more youthful, than I did when I was in my 20s. I'm appreciating life a little bit more. so yeah, I'm really excited for this new book of what I'm writing in my life.

Krista: Are you gonna write a book?

Nadia: Oh, that's been a question that has been out there a number of times. Actually, to be honest with you, I would love to write a book.

Um, just because, growing up. Impoverished, growing up, [00:18:00] having many experiences with the child welfare system, being very temporarily, in foster care, then to be given back to my family and the turmoil of living in a house that had constant tension and was not necessarily the most nurturing of spaces and then leaving home at the age of, 15. And then becoming a mom at 18. And then all of the other things that we get into in traumatic, moments and toxic relationships. I think it would just be more interesting to touch on those moments, but to make it a book for other people to say, this is what I've been through, but this is what I've learned. Um, I think that the idea of a story just about my life would be Kind of cool, but I would love for it to serve a purpose. I would love for it to be, again, bigger than just myself. So if I was to write a book, [00:19:00] I definitely would have all of those moments in there, up and including the ones that changed my life and finding out that I'm actually, from El Salvador and Indigenous to El Salvador.

And going there soon. So I'm very excited. I leave in two days for my first trip ever going home and meeting family over there. But I would definitely want that book to be something where people could feel like, okay, this is something I can adapt into my life or something I'm already doing. And this just validates that this could work.

Krista: People have asked, what would the book be called? would you have any idea, I mean, when you write it, let's say, um, the title will probably be revealed to you, but would you wanna play that game for a second and just.

Think about what the title would be?

Nadia: Ooh, I think, it's interesting because I look at, it from a perspective of being a public figure and having a lot of my life open on, social media [00:20:00] and sharing my stories in various ways, but also the trauma and the things that you don't necessarily talk about, you know, we, in therapy, we talk about safe sharing.

Andrea: Mm

Nadia: And sharing what we're comfortable with, um, and not feeling like just because we didn't share something that we're lying or any of those things. So part of me would be like, sharing secrets, or the secrets kept behind, or something like that,

Andrea: Yeah.

Nadia: But then I also like something simple where it's just like the journey,

Andrea: Mm hmm.

Nadia: and something that people can relate to and it makes sense So, I'm sure other things will probably, come up but when I think about what I would want that book to be for, or probably would be, Most likely be called The Journey and I'm going to claim that now for anyone that's out

Andrea: here, right now, it's there. I've written it down.

And I just want to sidebar that I also appreciate that [00:21:00] you recognize that we don't use crisis. And, that's very intentional.

And I also really appreciated as you were telling this story, how you talked about, feeling like you're so excited about that 13 year old Nadia. and where she's at and how, you're taking her along with you now.

And then you talked about 80 year old Nadia And then we have Nadia today.

So I wondered if you would say more about, your perspective around, our different generations, and in particular as women in our midlives. And with your story of recognizing 13 year old Nadia and the childhood experiences, but also talking about where you see yourself at 80, could you say more about your connection to the different generations and to how they play into who you are today and how that all comes together for you?

Nadia: Yeah. it's interesting because [00:22:00] people will ask me like, why is she 13? why is she not 5? and the reason for that is there was a very, traumatic moment in my life where, my mom just picked us up and moved us and I was no longer in contact with my dad and that was really difficult.

And I felt like when I had relearned, about who I was, and when I was newly learning about all of that, it was like I had lost him again.

Andrea: Mm.

Nadia: And The pain that 13 year old young girl felt, and not that he had abandoned me, but that I had just been removed. And, my father passed away in 2001, with medical complications, that were escalated by contaminated drinking water.

And that's why I do the work that I do and. [00:23:00] finding him again when I was 15 was really, it felt like forever, those two years of searching and wondering. And, my father was a very loving man, but he was in and out of my life due to his own life choices of being incarcerated most of my life.

But now being who I am in this way and taking that 13 year old girl with me is, it's okay. you're safe and you're loved. Um, and this isn't it. this life may feel like it's ending and it may feel like it's over. You're being removed from all your friends. You know, I just graduated grade 6.

I was excited to go to junior high. I had my friends, from where I was living in Guelph and picked up and moved to a completely different kind of town too. Guelph, back in the early 90s, very beatnik kind of town. And, my mom, like, we always had, bongos and things.

It was a very musical [00:24:00] household, we would go to the bookshelf cafe and have, cucumber and cream cheese sandwiches with alfalfa sprouts. And now, today, that's, super bougie. But back then, when you didn't have money, that's what you ate. Um, I still love those sandwiches. And, uh,

Krista: What were you playing?

Nadia: I was, I sang.I picked up a guitar once or twice. My son plays, 20 different instruments, but I don't, I was a singer in choir and in community theater and. Coming from that and then going where I moved to, which was Aurelia, Ontario, was a very conservative town. And I would have people ask me, are you really poor? Because you have wooden curtains. And now, those bamboo California curtains, again, here we are! They're charging an arm and a leg for them! but, yeah, bringing her with me is almost like Healing that part. And when we think about [00:25:00] somatic therapy, it's about, you know, especially with trauma integration.

What did you need to have happen in that moment? Not, you know, we do go through what happened, but what did you need to have happen in that moment? Did you need to feel safe? Did you need someone to say something? Did you need somebody to be removed from that? Um, and that's what I'm doing for her. I, and for myself, is what did I need in that moment?

This is what I needed. I needed community. I needed to be seen. I needed to be heard. I needed to be loved. I needed to have someone to hold space for me. Um, and now through this journey of now knowing my sister and my family and my cousins and all those kinds of things, I feel like I'm getting now what I needed to have happen in that moment.

So, for that younger piece of me, that's kind of where I'm at, um, and why that is such an important piece and the 80 year old. piece to me is just like, [00:26:00] she's now lived this lovely, amazing life and she's gone around the world because that is my plan, um, is to travel, travel more, um, and see things, meet people, engage in different traditions and cultures and see what the world has to offer.

And I think by that 80 year old time, it'll just be like, okay. I've lived. And that's why I think she's just gonna not give, as they say, you know, a few Fs, about what other people are thinking.

you know, we spend so much time worrying about what other people are thinking, and she's just gonna be like, no.

No, I'm good. And I've lived it and I'm just going to keep living it until I can't live it anymore. And, so that's where she's at. And it's almost like, not that it gives me hope. [00:27:00] It gives me something to look forward to. And whenever I do have those moments of I'm not sure about this, or I'm sad about something, or I'm feeling insecure about something, I can look to my 13 year old self and say, okay, we got this girl, and I can look to that 80 year old self and be like, oh, yeah, we got this.

We're good, right? Um, so

Andrea: arms around both of them.

Nadia: yeah, lovely little points of balance and grounding for me. Um. That are feeding in to who I am now and who I want to be in the future.

Andrea: I love that. That image of you and your 13 year old self and your 80 year old self in a little group hug,

And I can say that when I think about 13 year old Nadia as you're describing her, just smiling and exuberant andexcited about everything because she feels so grounded.

and 80 year old Nadia I can also picture. andrecognizing [00:28:00] how we don't often think about our 13 year old selves.

so I really appreciate you sharing. but also how you have worked so hard on yourself now to be able to find joy in that 13 year old self. And you're ready to adventure and ready to go and see the world. that's very powerful. And, that's very much about the work that you're doing, but so often, I imagine people who are deeply into working in therapy, in somatic often leave themselves out of The work, because there's so much in the work for others, and so for you to be able to identify that youneeded to take my own advice, I think that's what you said earlier, and I was like, oh my gosh, that's amazing, because we don't give ourselves that, and I imagine we will find in the women that [00:29:00] we're talking to in midlife, That's often what ends up landing, is that by midlife, so many women realize that they have not given themselves almost anything.

because they have been in service of everybody else. They have been in service of their children, of their partners, of their families, of their parents, their jobs, their teams, their work, all of those, wonderful things that you would never want to not have, but they have taken up every ounce of you and you don't leave anything for yourself.

and I perhaps hear that. Midlife and the catalysts that start to happen for people reveal or shine a light on whoa Like you haven't done anything for you It's

Nadia: Yeah, I think, yeah, and I think that's such an important [00:30:00] piece because And I don't know for anyone else, but, even when I was a young mom, you get criticisms around, you're too young to have a child. And then you look at history and it's like, well, technically, they're saying this is biologically when you're supposed to have a child and it's just, you know, there's all differing opinions around it.

And was it difficult? it was really difficult, being a young mom and the things that I went through with his father But at the same time, I think it's important that we do recognize that when we are caretakers, when we don't have anything to give ourselves, we're not giving the best quality to other people.

And that's really also another turning point for me was when I realized. I need to take a step back from my therapy career. I'm going through a lot right now, and it's greatly affecting me, which is going to greatly affect my work, which is going to greatly affect my [00:31:00] clients. And that was really difficult because much like even within acting. Oh, I'm a professional, so I'm supposed to be able to detach from these things. I'm supposed to be able to desensitize myself. I'm supposed to be able to Compartmentalize,

and put things in boxes and close those boxes and walk away. And so that was really difficult for me.

As I say, I'm also a fearful person. I didn't know what was gonna happen. I was going to stop being a therapist and that's something I've always been, but I knew that I couldn't give my clients the quality of service that they deserved and they needed because I couldn't be present and I wasn't being present.

Um, and we do the same thing, whether we're moms or we're caring for our parents or someone else, we forget sometimes to show ourselves that kindness. And that love and to just [00:32:00] sometimes ask others, I just need you to hold space for me today. I don't have the capacity today. I would love to help you in the future, but today I cannot.

And that we can't control, and I know this is said over and over, we can't control how other people are going to react to that. But in that moment, we need to do that for ourselves. And I say this to younger moms as well, that, and, and anyone who's, any person. Who is taking care of someone in a parental role is that's not who you are.

Totally. You know, you're like, that's why I love you talking about the words because we are so many other things being a caregiver is 1 of them being a mom or a dad is 1 of the things that you do and you are, but it's not Everything and, I'll have some moms be like, Oh, I wish I could, just go out and have lunch [00:33:00] at a lounge with my do it do it.

If if you if you actually can. I mean, like, I understand people. You don't have the finances or actually don't have someone to watch the kids or whatever, but if you are able to find the support systems that, hopefully can be in place. for you to do that. Don't feel bad about that. Because I also think about what was I telling my son?

I was saying things like work smarter, not harder. Do the things you love. it's okay. If you don't get married until you're 42, as long as you're out and enjoying life, I would say, go to France and play the accordion and eat apples in an orchard or I don't know what it is you're going to do with your life, but love it.

And. experience it, because now's the time, and as we talk about midlife, I'm like, oh, no, no, you can do it any time, any time,

Krista: Life is long.

Nadia: to make it happen. Yeah. So I agree. I think these ideas of who [00:34:00] we, um, sometimes feel like we have to be because there's so many societal, um, expectations. And being a rebel, being a disruptor is part of breaking through those and saying, actually just doesn't make me happier. So I just don't feel like this is going to be a part of my life. And what do I need to do to transition out of this? Um, and am I actually the person I want to be? That's a big question.

It's a hard one for people. It was a hard one for me, and I'm still figuring it out, but I'm enjoying figuring it out now. I don't feel as lost as I did before.

Krista: I hear you talk and I feel your spirit about so much of it is like that forward momentum, taking what you know and moving forward. And you had said that earlier. I had a therapist. When I was going to therapy for, raising twins, cause that's something.

Nadia: That's a lot.

Krista: Um, and they were about two and a half and I went and talked to someone that I knew and I was so grateful for [00:35:00] her help.

And she said, and I'm like, okay, what can I do? I want to, I want to go for it. I want to. And she's like, whoa, she's like, you need to sit in it. And I was like, no, I am not going to sit in that. You need to help me. You need to meet those children. You need to tell them things and do the things so that life is going to get better now.

And I think right now we're so used to fixing things like taking a pill or doing something that just like switches. the gear and propels you forward. I'm really interested in hearing, and I don't want to go backwards because we are talking about how beautiful and lovely the transformation has been for you and moving forward, but if you could speak a little bit about that moment.

Um, because I did hear it as well where you had to sit in it. What did that look like? What'd that feel like? And how did you get to the point where you knew you now [00:36:00] you could move through it?

Nadia: Yeah, that's it. These discussions are really, I do agree. They're really important because that is the bigger piece and something I was finding. That I was struggling to actually find when I was doing, research in my healing, and great, okay, so everybody has all of these motivational things they want to say, but how do I even get to the point where I can believe that,

Andrea: Mhm.

Nadia: where I can feel like these positive affirmations even make sense for me in any way? when I learned about my biological father. I went into a just a complete downward spiral and I'll be completely transparent about that because that's the most important piece is for us to be able to recognize that we all go through these moments and even now it still makes me tear up a little bit because I can [00:37:00] see myself lying in bed every day feeling like I didn't want to get up.

Not motivated to do anything. Wondering if I was being a burden to my partner because I didn't want to go anywhere and I would get up at 11 o'clock in the morning and I was on mental health leave and I'm like, who is this person? Because. This isn't me. And did I fail other people? Am I failing other people?

Am I failing myself? We, all of those questions were there and I call it hamster wheeling because we do, we get so much into our heads and we're just allowing all of these things in and all of our own insecurities and all those deep, dark moments that we, in those moments, truthfully believe about ourselves.

And I did. I was like, okay, here I am. I'm just this person again. All those toxic things that were [00:38:00] ever said to me growing up or in my relationships. I was like, yeah. That's me. Here I am, just this person that, doesn't matter, or everybody's not going to believe, or, you know, all of the really hurtful things we say.

And I don't know how many hours I spent crying in the shower, because that was always one of my releases, was, okay, you know what, I'm just going to get in the shower, I'm going to let that hot water run over my body. It's kind of somatic processing for me, where I just imagine. All of my pain and my sadness washing away with the water.

I did a lot of traditional medicine work around, smudging and, talking to Creator. And I was searching. I was searching for answers and I just felt like nothing was coming to me. And on top of that, I was like, I don't know [00:39:00] what I'm going to do for work either now, because I'm no longer doing that work because I recognize that I couldn't. And what does that mean for my future? you're compounded with all of these fears. And then imposter syndrome builds, you know, you start to wake up a little bit earlier. You're feeling really good that day. You go out, you do some stuff, you're faking smiles with friends, and then you come home and you're just exhausted and you feel like no one understands and you feel like you're completely alone. And even though you're not, sometimes you don't have the capacity to reach out to anyone and people are concerned and they are worried about you. And you get these feelings of hatred for the situation or against yourself and, you're going through grief is really what it is. And when I [00:40:00] recognized that I'm grieving, that's what this is.

I'm grieving a life gone now, a life that was taken out from underneath me of who I thought I was. That's the way I had perceived it at the time. I was grieving who I thought I was going to be, all of the things I was going to do. I was grieving the idea that I thought this would be possibly the end of my relationship because I couldn't be present in my relationship. And when we look at grief, we know there are stages of grief. And what we also know is that those stages are not linear, they are not steps. You will, I call it the elevator because you're gonna push anger floor and you're gonna get off and then you're gonna be like, no, you know what? I'm in non acknowledging floor.

That's where I need to [00:41:00] be right now.

Krista: Oh, I love that visual.

Nadia: then you feel like, okay, no, I'm in acceptance. I'm good. And then you're like, nope, nope. I want to go back to anger again. And it did. It took me, I'm going to say, honestly, it took me a year. And I was diagnosed with what is called Adjustment Disorder. And for anyone who doesn't know what Adjustment Disorder is, it really is the inability to not only be present, but to have the capacity to live fully within your moments when they change.

And that's the most simplified way that I can explain it is adjusting to day by day, daily life, hour by hour, the littlest things would re trigger me. And that's when I also recognized, I have to do some trauma work. I have to do some somatic work. And I thought, okay, what are the things that I can do at home?

Because I'm [00:42:00] not, I don't have the energy or the capacity to go out and do this yet. I'm not ready. And being okay, showing myself that kindness to say, I'm not ready and that is okay. I'm not ready to challenge myself that way yet. But what can I do in the space that I'm in? So doing that somatic work and essentially what we do in somatic work is we look at what that trigger is and we look at extinguishing the charge. That happens in our bodies, which puts us into fight or flight or fawn and all the other ones. And that way, when that trigger happens again in the future, the charge doesn't set us alight. And we're more likely to be able to use our tools to help us through those moments or to talk about it in narrative therapy.

And so I started doing that work. And then when I was, kind of borderline ready to start getting out there, sitting on that edge of okay, now I'm going to [00:43:00] do the meditation. Now I'm going to do exactly what I'm doing at home, but I'm going to do it with someone else. And I'm going to put my trust into someone that this is a safe space.

So that way I can work through my stuck points around nothing is safe. no one is safe. Um, and then leaving there being like, oh, okay. Okay. My stuck point isn't as rational as I thought it was. It's not as real as I thought it was. Um, and that was the process for me. Okay. And the process was very real, very heartbreaking.

Um, I've learned a lot about the people I thought were there to support me. I lost a lot of friends. because I, and I actually shouldn't say lost. I no longer engaged. With certain people,

Krista: I like how you rephrased that.

Nadia: because I recognize that in my life, I want to [00:44:00] be around people who support not just my ups and not just motivate me, but hold space for me when I don't have the capacity to hold space for myself.

And that was a really big thing. And I'm very, very lucky that my partner, he's amazing. We've been together for 12 years. You know, he struggled too, because it was one of those things that it was the both of us and he came to some therapy sessions with me to help understand what I was going through, which was really lovely. But it was scary. It was a really scary time. I never saw myself being here at this point. And so for anyone who is listening to this, it isn't the end. And it's okay to not be resilient in that moment, to not be that strong, to not have all of those things, because you just have to sometimes let the universe do what the universe is going to do.

And when you say sit in it, to just sit in it. And it's [00:45:00] gonna hurt and crying is so therapeutic. Please cry. I encourage so many people to cry because we'll stop ourselves and we'll try to breathe and push it back down. Let it out. Let it out until you're so exhausted that you can't do anything else. And then when you talked about those laughing moments.

You know, if you can, think of something funny, not necessarily something that was a good moment in life or made you happy, because for some people, those really are not things that they feel they have. But there might be something we laughed at, whether it's a TV show or a moment with a friend, right? And it kind of helps regulate your system.

So if I can give any pieces of advice that way, those would be it. That this is not the end, Just just sit in it and love yourself and show yourself that kindness. It's so important.

Krista: That's such good advice. I wonder too if if there's some resources you feel you could share that might be helpful as well, we could put them in the [00:46:00] show notes and we'll get those from you as

Nadia: Yeah,

Krista: that would be really great.

Nadia: Yeah, there's lots of, there's books. Um, there's, you know, and this is not an ad, although I would love to work with them one day,

Krista: mean, please.

Andrea: No! Say it! Say

Nadia: cannot recommend the Calm app enough.

Krista: Mm, mm, mm, mm.

Andrea: I haven't used it!

Nadia: Yeah, I listen to my sleep stories. They have daily motivation, daily movement. They have like, Sound baths.

It is, it's amazing. I can't rave about it enough. But it's something that I highly recommend. And the book, Atomic Habits. There's a line in this

Andrea: that book.

Nadia: Yes, it's amazing. There's a line in the book that don't think about who you want to be. Think about what you need to do to be that person and what habits you need to create because that it really helps you break things down into little [00:47:00] small steps and as we call those smart goals, right?

Small, measurable, achievable, relatable, tangible. Realistic and tangible. Um, yeah, those, I mean, for right now, for people listening, those are the two things I would say, if you can get access to them, to do that.

Krista: Oh, that's great.

Andrea: all of this is just so full of such incredible, thoughtful and personal experience And having people being able to share their experiences, their real experiences, the experiences that they've sat in, and then what that felt like.

Because it's the relatability of hearing somebody say, I felt. lost. I felt devalued or not seen And then people everywhere at some point or another often have felt that exact same way. And all of a sudden they're not alone. All of a sudden you're not by yourself.

[00:48:00] And so, gosh, there's so much in this share. And one of the things that I was thinking about is that in two days time, you are leaving for this incredible adventure. And that's one of your words. I think it was actually your first, word, adventurous.

Nadia: Yeah, to a fault sometimes.

So I'm gone for two weeks. I would love to stay for a month, but I think at that point I probably wouldn't be in a relationship when I got home, so.

Krista: Sharon, that's smart. That's really good. That's

Nadia: Because I just spent two weeks in Chicago with my newfound half sister. So, yeah, I get, I gotta take a break.

Krista: So, tell us a little bit about what you are planning and what you're thinking will happen andthen we're going to have you back for part two after you get back and we want to hear more about your half sister. In Chicago and about your [00:49:00] time in El Salvador.

can you just give us a little tease and then we'll

Nadia: it's very exciting. I mean, if, um, for anyone that might be listening that is aware of my work, and for those that aren't, I do a lot of ambassador work and volunteering with a number of organizations and. a few of those organizations are really focused around young adults, education, mental health, housing, a lot of those kinds of things.

And so this specific organization that I connected with, which is called Photocan, they are based out of Guelph, which is my hometown, which was kind of interesting, supports, so their 4 pillars are education, housing, Health care and, community well being and they support individuals in Latin America and the Caribbean.

And through a dear [00:50:00] friend of mine, who was a board member, was like, hey, I need you to meet another board member. I really think that this is just going to be such a good fit. And so we started doing some work for them, um, in fundraising, and then they said, uh, we just found out that the General Assembly for the whole international, organization, because they're the Canadian kind of foundation here, is happening in El Salvador.

And I said, you've got to be kidding me. And in my mind, I'm like, wait. What are they saying? What is happening? And knowing my story, they were like, we would love to have you go as a guest and be able to join these meetings, to get tours of the homes where the youth are living, you know, having lived experience in the child welfare system here and working with an organization called the Child Welfare Political Action Committee.

that we do a lot of lobbying for policy change within the welfare system. And actually, one of the things I [00:51:00] do want to share, which is super exciting, is that we were instrumental in being a part of the Supporting Future Children's Act of 2024 for And that really, um, was about Our privacy, because what most people don't know is that when you have lived experience in the child welfare system, your files stay open forever

Andrea: Oh,

Nadia: can access them.

juvenile defenders actually have more rights over their files than we do. And we're like, this can't happen. This can't keep going. So that is something that went to royal assent. It was changed in the law. It was very exciting that we will have more protection rights over our files and our files will be closed at a certain point.

So,we're supporting youth who have been displaced, whether it's due to violence, gang violence, or violence in the home, natural disaster. These are youth and young individuals who don't have somewhere to go. And what they started doing, they've been doing [00:52:00] this for over 4 decades now.

they give them a safe place to be. Now, El Salvador is apparently beautiful, my tia, she is over there, all of my cousins that are over there, they're like, it's so beautiful now, it's so beautiful because people are like, wait, you're going to El Salvador? Wasn't that like one of the most dangerous countries in Central America?

And my family is just so happy that has changed dramatically. I'm, yeah, so I'm excited. I'll be going over there doing kind of that volunteer work, uh, very brief, brief volunteer work and getting to, to be in those meetings and see the homes and engage with the kids and, you know, just be a part of that, which is really, really cool.

And I'll be doing that for the first 4 days, really immersing myself. And then the remainder of my trip is family. Which I'm really looking forward to, and I'm going to stay with my tía, [00:53:00] and, my cousin Specia is already like, she's so excited to show you off and take you around to the rest of the family, um, which is really nice.

I have friends over there that I've met through, taking time to learn about my Nava culture. Um, I, by no means, I'm an expert in that and, you know, I'm still so new to that journey. But. Wanting to learn a little bit of who I am and where I come from and my ancestral roots. It's always been extremely important to me.

So

Krista: saying you were going to learn some of the language too.

Nadia: Yeah, the language, um, you know, be a part of ceremony. A friend of mine, I was saying to them, you know, oh, I'd love to just,really understand, when you're welcoming outsiders, what does that look like? And he said. I don't understand. that's not something we would do for you.

And I was like, Oh, no, I'm not asking. I'm just, and then he was like this because you're not an outsider.this is your [00:54:00] land. This is your home. This is where you're from. you are us. so that felt like a big hug when I heard that because, and he speaks fluent Nahua. He supports the Nahua, some of the Nahua immersion schools So I'll have an opportunity to go there and then to go to Santa Tecla, because I'll be in Santa Ana for the first part, and Santa Tecla to meet some of my cousins for the first time

Andrea: Oh my gosh.

Nadia: to see where my great grandmother, um, Francisca, raised all of my cousins and things like that and my dad and, um, Yeah, just all the different areas.

So there's going to be a lot of adventure. I highly recommend if people are interested. they can tune into part two

Krista: Yeah.

Nadia: I'll be

Krista: maybe following your journey, by the time this episode is posted, you will have gone and come back, but I'm wondering, are you going to write a blog? Do you plan on doing any of that or sharing your journey at all, or we [00:55:00] just see how it feels when you're there and, and kind of go from there.

Nadia: I will be sharing parts of my journey, I'm a high Instagram user. That's where most of my stuff gets posted is on my Instagram, which is public. People can see it and I'll be sharing stories. I'll be sharing pictures. But I think for the most part, one of the things that I did realize going through the trauma of refiguring out.

Where I actually belonged to and who my community was, I was in a moment of trauma in my frontal lobe. Would I have done things a little bit differently in regards to how I handled that situation publicly? maybe a little bit now that I can be a little more rational about it. So this time, what I've learned from that is to, as we talk about sitting in those moments.

Is I really do want to just be in those moments. So there's probably a lot of things that I will [00:56:00] not share and they'll be mine. and maybe in the future, as we talk about the book, or, you know, as an actor, maybe there'll be a documentary, I don't know, but, um, For the, for some of it, I think I'm just gonna keep it for me, and let it just be mine, and with my family, and, you know, I'm a public figure, but they're not, and that's the other thing that I've really had to learn.

Krista: I think the biggest, yeah, the biggest piece will just be this. This it's almost like this is the second chapter of my new book. The first chapter was the findings and. Now, it's going home,

Andrea: hmm,

Nadia: so eventually, I want to be able to say, I did the work and now it's time to share the story.

And that's really what I want it to be about and to let other people know that, um, you know, turmoil through turmoil, we can still find brightness and we can still find that [00:57:00] light. But it takes time and it's okay to keep things for yourself. As I say, safe sharing. So yes, I'm very excited to come back because I would love to have some juicy little tidbits and, I'm sure there will be, I'm sure there's going to be so many adventures.

Who knows what I'm going to get up to?

Andrea: Well, adventure includes everything, and, with some of the other words that you've said, I think that you're set up pretty well. we've got, disruptor, inquisitive, curious, loving, silly, outrageous. That all works really well for this adventure. that's gonna give you a lot to work with.

Nadia: Yeah. I'm really excited about it. I've been looking at it for so long on the 23andMe and the Ancestry maps

Krista: Mm,

Nadia: you know, when they're narrowing down where you're from. It's gonna be very interesting to now be in there, to be no longer just visualizing it from a screen, to actually be looking around me and be like, Wow, I'm [00:58:00] here.

I'm

Krista: And sitting in it.

Andrea: immersion. It's like being completely immersed into home,

Krista: Mm

Andrea: is so

Nadia: Mm hmm.

Andrea: more wonderful for people to be able to at some point, whether it comes with time, but for everybody to feel that full immersion in home.

Nadia: it's such a, such a strong word and one that I think we don't, embrace enough.

Andrea: You know, we often take it for granted if we have it, and then if we don't have it, it's all we want,

Krista: Yeah. And how it looks different for everybody too.

Andrea: yeah.

Nadia: absolutely. And that's another thing that I acknowledge as well as the privilege that I have. to be able to do this because there are so many people out there having spoken with other people who have gone through, you know, this DNA testing and finding things out about themselves. Some wish they had never found out and some that are very excited.

Um, and it's costly. It's so [00:59:00] costly, just DNA tests in general. So for me to be able to be a part of this organization, Um, and it all just kind of working out the way it did, like, you know, creator had a path for me and the same elder that told me that I don't, hold that guilt because you didn't know, um, you know, has always said, like, we know this in, the teachings, in what I was raised, with is that.

Creator knows your plan and, you knew your plan, but, we forget on the way, the journey of coming here and. Now creator is just calling me home. It's time. It's time to go home. And,I've had many discussions with various people from, healing communities and they're like, yeah, like, it's undeniable.

You have to do this and Let's see what that journey. Brings me.

Krista: Oh,

Andrea: love that.

Krista: thanks for sharing all that. [01:00:00] Today we have one question, and I think it ties in perfectly because of what you were speaking about before the 13 year old, the 80 year old, where you are now. we like to ask if you could picture yourself as you were 80 and looking back to right now. What would that 80 year old say to you?

Nadia: Ooh, that is a great question. I had to think about that for a second. I would hope that she would say good job, but I have a feeling that she'd probably be like, You have no idea. I guarantee you that's what she'd be

Andrea: She's a little sassy,

Nadia: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Krista: for you. is that the, what's behind that?

Nadia: Yeah, I think, uh,

Krista: Hmm.

Nadia: Yeah, because when I even think about me looking back at that 13 year old me, I wouldn't say it in the same [01:01:00] context, but it is Trust the process. You got to trust the process. And then, yeah, I think that 80 year old self would be like, oh, you think it's good now?

You just wait. Like, you have no idea the trouble we're going to get into.

Andrea: Oh, I love this sassy 80 year old Nadia.

Krista: love it! So sassy! Oh, Nadia, thank you so much for today. I'm really looking forward to part two. I know I'm gonna sit in the moment and just be thankful for what we had today, but I am looking forward to part two. When you come back, um, where can everyone find you? Where's the best place to have a look and learn more about you?

Nadia: yeah, the best place, honestly, if you're an Instagram user, that's where I post 90 percent of my content. You can find me at Nadia George Official. And if you are a Facebook user, it's the same handle, Nadia George Official. Those are the two places I mainly post, but Facebook, I find, is more for events and advocacy work and [01:02:00] things like that.

Um, and then, of course, you can always check back on my website. I don't update it as often as I'd like to get a chance to, but it is a great place if you are kind of just looking to figure out who I am, what I do, what's important to me, um, even for contact if anybody is looking, to gather more information or just wants to reach out.

Um, you can always contact me through my website or send me a DM on Instagram and I'd like to think I'm pretty good with responding. I'm not always, so please if I don't respond right away, I apologize, but I think community is really important and I can't believe I'm saying this but I really look at the whole Taylor Swift, and it's about the way she engages with her fans, and her fan base, and when I think about my own authenticity, I always want to be in a position where if people meet me, they're like, okay. We're getting what we thought we were going to get because it's really important. [01:03:00] People are, you know, whether they're looking up to me, or they're inquisitive about me, or I inspire them. I don't ever want people to feel like, oh, wow. Okay. Um, like. Being a mentor, I take it very seriously. Being a role model, I take that very seriously.

So please do reach out. I love building community. I really love talking with the people who follow me and getting to see their lives. I can't follow everyone. That's a lot. I really truthfully wish I had more time. But there's people that I have followed for a really long time and I get to see their journeys and it's just so beautiful and they inspire me, really, is what it comes down to.

It reminds me of the work that I do and how important community is. So, yeah, that's where you can find

Andrea: So wonderful.

Krista: you ended that note on community because that's exactly what we're building here at Half Betty. So thank you for being on the Half Betty podcast and we look forward [01:04:00] to learning more about you and staying with you on this journey. So thank you so

Nadia: Thank you. Thank you so much.

Andrea: Thank you so much, Nadia.

Thank you so much for bringing your entire genuine self to this conversation

Nadia: thank you for having me. I also look forward to listening to your other episodes, because you holding this podcast does hold space for people. And that's important. And I'd like to recognize that because, like you said, with community, that's what it's about, holding space for each other.

those lovely hugs, whether it's with words or whether it's with arms,really does make a difference. So thank you both as well.

Krista: Thanks, Nadia. We'll chat real soon.

Andrea: Bye!

Nadia: Bye.