Kristina Spring - Ep. 15

Andrea: [00:00:00] It's good to have heroes. These are the words that Kristina Spring said at the end of the conversation and it landed for all of us.

Andrea: Not in the way that you'd expect. Not with any grand gestures, but with the story of three people who found each other at a time when they were most needed, three strangers with the same impossible diagnosis, who together decided that if they couldn't change the path they were on, they would be on it together.

A powerful community of three, they call themselves The Brain Buds. Kristina here in Vancouver, Emily in Toronto, and Kevin in the UK. Oceans and miles apart, but bound by something that most of us cannot imagine. They've become each other's heroes, quietly, fiercely, and without fanfare. I'm Andrea Rathborne, and I'd love to invite you to listen to Kristina's story as she tells it for the first time.

Hi Kristina. So good to have you.

We, recognize that there's been a span of time since I got the chance to be [00:01:00] introduced to you a few months back. And, from that time that you and I met at a little coffee shop here in the city and had a visit to be able to connect and meet one another.

and by the end of our conversation, you Had a sense that this was a story, your story that you would like to share in the context of what Half Betty is all about, which is women sharing the stories of the catalysts that occur during midlife, that offer, and sometimes demand a transformation.

I think that's an important distinction as well, is that while many of the catalysts do offer, many of them also demand a transformation. And often there are many, many catalysts demanding change, demanding transformation, demanding evolution.

and so. To be able to sit with you [00:02:00] today, and have you share your story, of transformation, of catalyst of change, of, um, you and who you are is really something that we are very grateful to have. So thank you for joining us. That was a really long intro when I said it was gonna be short, but there you go.

Thank you.

Kristina: Thank you. Thanks for, asking me.

Andrea: One of the things that we love to start people off with because we recognize collectively the power of words. I mean, that's one of the things in podcasting, is people hearing our words, and so words also tell of our stories. ,,,,,,,,,,, So one of the things that we love to start our guests with, um, is a little exercise and it's meant to be fun.

So this is like an icebreaker without being an icebreaker, but it's meant to be fun.And you can also break the rules. So if you've got a little rebellious streak, bring it out,

Kristina: All right.

Andrea: a [00:03:00] sense that you do. Um,

Kristina: Mm.

Andrea: so we love to ask our guests if they might share five words.

Okay. Well, one, um. I am impatient. Uh, I'm pretty impulsive. I rarely have a plan. I, I pretty much just run on intuition. I have a hard time waiting for things. I don't think I've ever brought a bagette home without having some of it. Um, which leads me to my second word, which is I think I'm pretty bratty.

Kristina: Um, I'm usually pretty anxious around other adults and peers. I work with teenagers and, I like that energy. Um, yeah, I'm not really a rule breaker, but I think I have a really hard time following rules. I don't know if I've ever read instructions for anything. and I'm a bit of a disruptor.

in my work, I am, I do a lot of advocacy work, and [00:04:00] a lot of that means being willing to. Disrupt stuff. I'm curious, I'm kind of a noticer sometimes when my husband and I walk our dogs, he'll ask me to, tell him for a few houses, like, what's going on in my head. And then he's just like, stop.

that's enough. 'cause I'm imagining what's happening in people's houses. And, I like stories. I like all the details. I think I'm creative, kind of like a problem solver, creative, like I, I like to do art things. I'm married to a carpenter. I like to build things with him. I like puzzles. Like jigsaw puzzles,

Andrea: Yeah.

Kristina: social puzzles,

Andrea: I love that.

Kristina: I like to,solve problems, but kind of creatively, I like doing that. And then I asked a couple of people when I knew I was doing this, and if they had a word or two, [00:05:00] and I think something that other people say describes me is that I'm pretty purposeful in, like, I believe that words and actions and behavior matters. And I tend to, in my life, try to lean towards being of service where I can be. And I try to, show up where I can. I think I'm, well, other people said I'm someone that, that shows up,

But I don't think I just do that in the world. I think I also do that 'cause it's a practice for me.

Andrea: Purposeful and intentional

Kristina: Yeah.

Andrea: practice, reliable.

Kristina: I hope to be.

Krista: it sounds like it.

Andrea: It does sound like it. AndI really appreciate the vulnerability. It also takes to ask others to observe us and share something with us, [00:06:00] because I think a lot of people find that quite difficult. Um, so I really appreciate that you did that and that you reached out to these people that you know, to ask them what their words were.

And it's interesting 'cause it sounds like maybe a few of them said similar things that led you to share what you just shared. So it is interesting that you had a collective of people that gave you a very similar perspective. Did you find that interesting when you were listening to people's words for you?

Kristina: Yeah. And I think I also wanted to share the responsibility, 'cause on my own I was like, well, irritable, you know?

Krista: those are important words to acknowledge though,it doesn't always have to be like this polished and shiny word that, describes the best side of us because there's lots of words that are true and real and they make up who we are as well.

Kristina: yeah. I'm [00:07:00] pretty comfortable with Bratty

Krista: I love that word.

can you define bratty? You were talking about a baguette and how you,

Andrea: my gosh, that was funny.

Krista: you might bring it home, but it would probably be half

Kristina: yeah, or, a chunk bitten off. But I don't like the heel, so I'd like take that off, leave it in the bag and then eat the next part. Um,

Krista: good stuff is on the inside.

Kristina: yeah, I don't know. I think the people that live with me can get pretty frustrated with my, being kind of careless or quick to move through the world.

I take a little bit of pleasure in breaking the rules and just moving through the world in a way that feels good.

Krista: And was that something that's always been a part of you?

Kristina: I think so. Yeah. Yeah.

Andrea: if that's a way of using that word, it feels like that. Is who you are. And being able to pull [00:08:00] that piece of baguette while you're still walking home is a really good metaphor for, not overthinking everything and doing the things that we're meant to do, but kind of tearing off the,baguette and eating it on the way.

I think that's a really beautiful way to, to move through the world.

Kristina: Thanks

Andrea: When we, first met and had a bit of a discovery conversation, you were able to share in a beautiful way

a story of your midlife journey.

And I wonder if perhaps you would

take us to a moment in time, an experience in your midlife that you really feel was a turning point or a shift in yourself, in your own experience?

Kristina: Mm-hmm. Yeah. I guess maybe I'll start with saying why I was interested in doing this. Like, [00:09:00] at first I thought that I would do this 'cause if, sharing my story of going through a really difficult time, and seeking help from people that had been on the same journey, um. I thought, well, if,that kind of story of seeking support and getting comfort from others that shared a similar experience was useful for others.

And I wanted to do it. And then I was talking to a wise friend and she said, yeah, but maybe no one will listen to it. And I was like, oh yeah. Um, and then she said, so, you know, it would have to be something that would like, help you too. And I thought about why I might wanna do that, and I talked to my kids and I think that the last four years has been really tough for our family.

Um, and I think we're really thriving now. But the opportunity to sort of put parentheses around a period of time and kind of [00:10:00] punctuate it as a chapter, was meaningful to me and important. so I'll tell you about the hard time. I'm gonna go way back, but don't worry, I won't go way back for long.

in 2012, I got bitten by a tick and, I got Lyme disease and I tested positive for it. I got the rash and, it took a long time to get the right testing 'cause I was bit in France. Um, so I was treated late, but I was treated. And then in 2017, I woke up one day with, numbness on the left side of my body and burning on the right side of my nose and my tongue, sort of a numb spot on my back and a bunch of weird neurological stuff.

And, went through a series of tests and stuff and threw an MRI got a, possible. MS diagnosis. there were several lesions on my brain from whatever, and, only one [00:11:00] of them met the MS criteria. So, uh, MS means multiple sclerosis, and I _kind _of had like a singular sclerosis that met the criteria, so it wasn't the right diagnosis,

and so I began to be followed by MRIs. And in April of 2021, I got a really alarming call where after several MRIs, there was, the MRI report said, um, that, uh.

That a low grade glioma, ptosis, which is like multiple gliomas, cannot be ruled out. And um, it took from there about nine months of multiple doctors, um, to, to kind of settle on what, you know, it, I was curious, is this something to do with Lyme disease? Could it be an MS thing? Like [00:12:00] it was, it was really all over the place and it took nine months to kind of move to, um, a more clear diagnosis.

And in those, in that first year, um, I, I just, couldn't cope at all. Um, the uncertainty was really brutal. I've had to do a lot of work on the incredible, amount of shame I had around the lack of grace I carried myself with. And, I made a lot of, I did a lot of things I would do differently now.

I gave people the play by play at every doctor's appointment, and I couldn't hear other people's, exhaustion or their fear or need to take care of themselves.

I had a really desperate need for people to understand what I was experiencing and when people. didn't um, because they couldn't, I, I explained [00:13:00] more. I forced it. I, I doubled down. I really wanted people to understand what I was going through, and it really changed every week or two.

Um, and I, I'm so grateful my husband went to every single doctor's appointment with me, and I think that if he hadn't, and he hadn't completely understood the rollercoaster that was happening, um, well he did. So I don't know what would've happened if he didn't but he did. And we did really well together, but it was a really isolating, lonely, challenging time socially.

And then in January of 2022, we got to the point where. we'd seen doctors in New York and in California and we'd been all over the place. And,they told us that they had extinguished all other options and that it was most likely, glio mitosis and that it was time for me to get a brain [00:14:00] biopsy.

And in some ways there was sort of some relief to get, uh, a concrete diagnosis and path. Um, but we also felt like it was a diagnosis of exclusion and that they weren't considering the thing that I have. 'cause the medical world doesn't really believe in Lyme disease, um, or chronic Lyme disease. And yeah.

Um,

Krista: Really? Can you add on that? I.

Kristina: yeah, I think that there's. A belief that once it's treated, it's gone and that the idea of having a tick-borne illness nine years later, is kind, they just don't really believe that it exists as a chronic condition. I had one doctor write down, um, that the patient is desperately seeking a [00:15:00] more favorable prognosis.

and it was super confusing. I, felt like I was gaslighting myself sometimes, right? Like, I didn't

Andrea: Hmm.

Kristina: I didn't know what was going on. And, people who loved me and cared about me, some people would wanna be like, it's for sure Lyme it's not a cancer, or, you know, just, just do this, or.

Uh, you know, but as we went through that first year, we got to this place where they said it's time for a biopsy. But the lesions are so diffuse that if they did the biopsy and it was negative, it wouldn't rule it out. And if it was positive, there was no treatment. So we didn't see any point in doing that.

and so I refused that, which was a really bold, difficult decision to make. And that was back in January of 2022. and I was terrified. I lived in fear most of the time and I was really [00:16:00] afraid that I was never gonna come back. Um, I don't mean that I wasn't gonna live, but I thought even if you know that I would never be myself again, that I would

Andrea: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Kristina: um.

Content or not scared. And um, and it was a really difficult time.

So, um,

I guess what happened in early 2022 was I met a woman, her name is Emily, and she introduced me to a man named Kevin. And I've asked Emily and Kevin for permission to use their names. And we started little WhatsApp group called Brain Buds. And, with them, I kind of got to free other people, um, from that need I had for someone to understand.

And, I got [00:17:00] to try to start rebuilding. My life. And the two of them, they're both amazing. They both went back to university. Emily got a PhD after her diagnosis. Kevin's working on a master's in philosophy. you know, we, we span 25 years in our, in our ages. Um, but we,have similar, a similar diagnosis.

Theirs are very concrete my doctors were saying to me that my condition hadn't declared itself yet. I, I, maybe it was an incidental finding on MRIs, but I didn't have any symptoms that really matched, the diagnosis. But they were sort of like, well,

it's early days. You know, it's, it's coming.

And usually a gliomatosis, diagnosis has about an 18 month, life expectancy to it. And I mean, the good news is, it's been four years, right? so I think in some [00:18:00] ways it challenges it. But Emily connected me to a doctor in Europe who was able to say to me, no, they're not mutually exclusive.

It could be Lyme, especially European Lyme has a big neurological component. You should be treating that. And, one of these lesions looks like a glioma, but it's not behaving like it. I don't know what all the other lesions are. And, and just sort of offered some challenges to the diagnosis I had.

And I was able to start living kind of down two paths. One where I, treat what I can, that what I know that I had, I don't know if I still have it.

Andrea: Mm-hmm.

Kristina: and continue to be responsible, you know, following the oncology path. And, um, yeah, with the help of Kevin and Emily, I believe that I kind of found a way.

I mean, the, the two of them are just so amazing and they were inspiring and I started to believe that if they could do it, I could do [00:19:00] it too. And,

that's, uh, things got a lot better for me. I remember a time years ago in my life when, our family was going through a period of time with addiction and, I got a lot of support from a recovery community where people also had a shared experience and it, it just took the lid off right? By hearing other people say Me too. And that happened in this situation as well

Andrea: with your brain buds that you found, Can I, um, ask you a little bit more if you have permission with Emily and Kevin, you were sharing that the two of them have concrete diagnoses of,a form of brain cancer. Both of them have brain cancer and they are both going through treatments.

is that accurate?

Kristina: yeah. Emily's had surgery twice and Kevin. Um, has gone through [00:20:00] chemotherapy. 'cause he has the same, he has the diagnosis that they presume I have. And, um, and there's not a lot of treatment for that, but he's doing what he can. Um, but a lot of it's, getting serial MRIs, getting checked all the time and, um, and we all have to do that.

I went to Ontario to see a doctor, um, there, in May of 2023. And Emily, went to that doctor's appointment with me and

Andrea: And

Kristina: 34 years old, you know, and she just kind of midwifed me through the whole experience. Um,

Krista: Wow.

Kristina: yeah, she's amazing. And

Andrea: And she lives in Ontario.

Kristina: Kevin lives in England.

In preparation for this, I went through my WhatsApp to see when we first connected to just, and you know, it took like minutes of [00:21:00] scrolling. Um, but most of our conversations now are about our dogs or music or, you know, there's that beautiful thing. Like Kevin and I joked recently about, um, kind of the guilt of, um, of not, of not dying.

Like there was a time where my family went on a vacation to Mexico when we anticipated it might be our last family vacation. And, Kevin said, oh, yeah, I, I totally understand that. it's like feeling like you've broken a promise. And I was like, yeah. You know, it's, it's a very challenging thing when you've, um, you know, at, at the time when they were first, that first nine months, there had been like quite a lot of growth in the lesions on my brain, and they were expanding.

Um, for the last four years they've been stable, which is [00:22:00] amazing. And, you know, I believe it possibly challenges that diagnosis that,

Andrea: Yeah. Yeah.

Kristina: no doctor's really willing to commit to that at this point. they say there would need to be a much longer passage of time. but really, I guess the thing for me is, is that I, live through that passage of time now and, um, the first couple of years there wasn't much living.

I was just petrified and. I, I'm just super grateful to have, uh, people in my life who've been able to show me how to do the living again.

Andrea: Hmm.

Krista: You've found community

Kristina: Yeah.

Krista: and it was necessary. I'm wondering how you first got in touch with Emily and Kevin and how that friendship formed.

Kristina: Yeah. I.

Krista: I wonder if you knew that you needed [00:23:00] community. I mean, you, it sounded like you were, you know, talking to family and friends, and you also knew that it was wearing on them, and it was hard for everybody.

Kristina: Yeah, you're right. I, I didn't think I needed community. I was desperately trying to force my community, like my, my neighborhood and my friends and my family to be, um, able to do that with me. And I, I believe I found Emily through the Brain Tumor Foundation of Canada. And somebody, you know, some social worker connected me to her or somebody, you know, I, I'd reached out.

'cause the presumed diagnosis is, it's like, 250 people a year in the world get diagnosed with it. It's super rare. And Emily doesn't have that diagnosis. She has, a different kind of brain cancer. Um, but she knew of Kevin who had the [00:24:00] same, diagnosis that I had, and, he was symptomatic where, they were saying that

the clinical symptoms that I have don't match the

the imaging on the MRIs. Um, but I think like that all matters to my friends and my family and the doctors. And it doesn't matter to Kevin and Emily, the three of us. We're just sort of on this journey together where when somebody says, oh, I got my MRI date, I know when it's scheduled.

there's the weeks that lead up to it, and then there's the day that it happens, and then there's the waiting afterwards and, it's, kind of crazy. it doesn't really make sense because whatever's happening in your body is happening anyway.

the scan doesn't make it more so, but the knowing or the finding out is super scary. And, I think people [00:25:00] can understand that, uh, theoretically, and I think everybody has experienced having to wait for medical results, but, um. You know, the three of us can talk about, uh, I don't know what, what series might be a good thing to watch to distract and comfort during that time,

Andrea: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Kristina: Emily and I are both big hockey fans and, she came out to Vancouver and stayed at our house for a little while and we went to a playoff game together and, it was, um, for me it's a really, really loving relationship that helped me to stop trying to, um, yeah, I found understanding, so I didn't need to try and force,

Andrea: Mm-hmm.

Kristina: it.

Andrea: Mm-hmm.

Kristina: And they also inspired me to start. Um, you know, since that time [00:26:00] I've, done some weightlifting with a trainer. I've started swimming. Um. I swim a kilometer twice a week. Um, I took singing lessons. Um, the swimming has gone better than the singing, but you know, I, I did it. Um,

Krista: Good for you.

Kristina: I just started trying to find ways to feel like I was living again.

And I guess another thing that happened was that, last year my husband got diagnosed with, an acoustic neuroma, which is also a skull-based tumor, but it's not cancerous. And it seemed like the cruelest joke he had to go through five weeks of radiation. And, Emily was the first person we contacted.

Okay. And within 24 hours she'd let us know which doctors we should be seeing in Vancouver, what treatment would probably be best for him. she's been advocating for, [00:27:00] um, patients for seven years, I think since she got her diagnosis. And,it also helped us to not give everybody in our life the play by play.

and we made the decision to not tell our kids until we had more information, because we'd seen what, um,

I guess we just learned how to do it differently, right? We learned how to have some patience, how to not react to every single thing that happened to figure out how to have a plan, but also we figured out how to go to where the felt really good.

Andrea: Mm-hmm. Did you find that when Emily and Kevin came into your life, that that then shifted the relationships that you had with your existing friends and family?

Kristina: I think I'm noticing it. I [00:28:00] think it's slow. I think a lot of damage was done. and my perspective of the damage done might not be accurate, but I carry a lot of, regret and embarrassment and, um.

I think I isolated myself from a lot of people for a while. Um, just 'cause I don't know, I, I don't know why. Um, but, um,

yeah, it allowed me to free other people up, um, whether they noticed that or not, like in inside of me. Right. I got to stop trying to force, um, understand, you know, like trying, yeah. Trying to have other people understand what they had no experience with. Um,

Krista: And listen and guess what you needed to hear or what you needed them to do, or it's, it's a [00:29:00] lot on both ends.

Kristina: Yeah. Yeah. And I, and I think it also helped me to be more, um, thoughtful in understanding that this hadn't just been hard on me. Right. It'd been hard on everybody. and in complicated ways. Like, I think my kids went through a time where they thought their mom was dying, like imminently right away, you know?

Um, and I imagine they told their people about that. And then, you know, here I am and I'm doing quite well, and we're four years in and everything's stable. And, um, it's just so confusing and hard to navigate. And, um, you know, Kevin has kids, um, they're similar to my kids, you know, they're adults, but they're, they're still our kids.

And, um. You know, and his kids deal with it differently than my kids, but also between the two of them. And we had, [00:30:00] um, yeah, we've kind of gotten to,

I don't know, have you talked to people about that? Right?

I believe the question you had asked was, did it allow other relationships in my life to change? And I, I think it did in my community where I was able to kind of free other people up from, from the demands and needs and pressure I, I was experiencing and sharing, spreading around. But I also, it really helped with my kids.

I think Emily's maybe eight years older than my daughter. And, um, and Kevin has kids about my age, my kids' age, and he and I got to talk about, how our kids were coping [00:31:00] or how they, or, or what they experienced. And, we took our family on a trip expecting it to be the last family vacation as we were kind of clocking towards that first 18 months when we thought, um, you know, the next MRI was gonna be when the disease declared itself completely.

And, um,

and when that didn't happen, um, you know, Kevin's timeline has also been not exactly what has been predicted. And we got to talk about what that was like for our kids and. What our kids had been preparing for and what they were able to talk to us about and what they were talking to their peers about and how, how that all looked and, um, how our, how our partners

ugh. Um,[00:32:00]

like lived through that time with us, and continue to live through that time with us. Um, my husband's name is Earl, and I remember at one point, I can't even remember what Earl had done or said, but Kevin told me that his wife really liked Earl. You know, that she, that she thought he sounded great and, um,

Krista: Because you were sharing stories Yeah. With your partners. Yeah.

Kristina: We're kind of in it together. I sometimes have this fantasy about Emily and I getting on a plane and going to England to spend time with Kevin and his family. And it, you know, it could even be a lunch.

Andrea: Yeah.

Kristina: Um, but I don't think, I don't think like a, a week has gone by in the last two years, maybe 10 days.

But, you know, we're in communication a lot. Like we, we share photographs of our, our vacations and, um, big [00:33:00] milestones in our family's lives. And, um, and a lot about our dogs. We all really, really love our dogs. And,

Andrea: Animals are amazing

Kristina: yeah.

Andrea: through everything as are Brain Buds.

Kristina: Yeah.

Andrea: it really stood out for me how we go through life creating communities. And if we're fortunate, we gather amazing folks in our lives, then we have experiences that we don't realize is gonna have an impact on those people as much as it might. And I think it's really fascinating to. Understand how something as profound as you've been experiencing and [00:34:00] navigating has created both a new community and also an awareness, a deep, deep awareness that so many people perhaps never get around our experiences and how that ripples out to our family and friends and those that are around us and love us. And it just really feels really powerful to think about it in that way. 'cause I don't know that it's something that I consciously thought about how the experiences that I have impact other people. I.

Kristina: Yeah, me neither. I think that's been the biggest, well, not the biggest challenge, but a really big challenge, right?

I don't wanna go into a position of self deprecation or being hard on myself. 'cause [00:35:00] I think in a lot of ways, I, I get a pass for whatever happened. I can have regret and I can wish things were different and I can, uh, try to make things right and do things differently and acknowledge my part in stuff.

but I think when we struggle or when I was so, so scared, um, like, holy cow, like just self-centeredness run amuck, right? Like I couldn't see, anybody else's experience. Um, and it was also on the heels of COVID. my husband and I had lost in five years.

We lost, um, both of his parents and my stepmom and my dad. and there was Alzheimer's and post polio and all sorts of, you know, like as with everybody in the middle of their lives, there's a whole lot going on at once. And, so that was happening in my family and in my friends' lives as well.

And, [00:36:00] um.

Yeah, it was, it was really hard for me to see beyond my own experience and I think having, but it's funny, right? 'cause when I look at, uh, Emily and Kevin's experience, I can see the whole picture. Like I can see, their siblings or, or their, their friends or their community or their coworkers, right?

I remember Kevin telling me that his wife had, um, requested a bunch of Kevin's coworkers to, to sort of send him cards of encouragement before some sort of procedure or something. And he got like, 50 or a hundred cards and that he had them all up on this board and shared a photograph of it.

And the impact that that had on his career community was super meaningful for me and in my [00:37:00] world, you know, I was the main actor. Right. So I think also having my connection with them has, um, yeah, just allowed me to see more clearly. I hope it, um, but certainly it's carried the load, right?

where horses carry the load, like collectively and, um, and like what a blessing to have that.

Andrea: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Krista: Everybody needs a community, whether it's two people or 20 or 50. It doesn't matter as long as you're relating to each other and understand, and there's love and care and support.

Kristina: Yeah. and humor, right? Like, 'cause they can, they, they can bring hu they can bring humor to it, where other people bringing humor to it would like suck. Right.

Andrea: Yeah. Yeah,

Kristina: [00:38:00] You

Krista: And you might be defensive and you might, you, how can you say that? You don't know, but from them it's different. It hits differently.

Kristina: yeah. it's been such a gift to me. and like I said, their diagnosis is clear.

Mine's presumed, and mine's made by exclusion and it's complicated. Um. But in our relationship, it doesn't feel complicated,

Andrea: Hmm.

Kristina: I don't even know how to explain that

Andrea: That's a beautiful description.

Krista: there must be some relief in that for you

Kristina: in the lack of complication.

Krista: like it's, it's not complicated, so therefore you feel better a about the situation.

Kristina: Yeah. Like, out of the three of us, I'm by far the most emotional and I'm by far the most anxious but I can ask them how they manage that and they inspire me.

Andrea: Yeah. [00:39:00] likewise, I imagine it's reciprocal.

Kristina: I think so they say, so,

Mm-hmm.

Andrea: that's what actually creates a unified group. I love that description, by the way. I think that's beautiful. But it is the fact that it's, it's not one direction that the inspiration happens or the support or the humor, that it's, it's woven into the relationships of a group of people.

Um, that's what really creates that uncomplicated space

Kristina: Mm-hmm.

Andrea: is that you're all carrying it.

Kristina: yeah. And we can share the frustration, right? Like, none of us can drink alcohol at this stage of our lives

it's a big change and a small change. Like in the grand scheme of things, no big deal, but

I'd love to have a beer and I can't.

Andrea: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Kristina: [00:40:00] And, and other people might go, are you sure?

Krista: Hmm.

Kristina: You are? Like, really? Does it matter? You know? And they're both just like, yeah. And they're just like, oh yeah. You know,

Andrea: They get it.

Kristina: Yeah. it goes a long way. I.

Andrea: Mm-hmm. And so your family and Kevin's family and Emily is, um, she, she doesn't have children. I think that that's what you shared, that she doesn't

Kristina: right.

Andrea: that Kevin has children. Um, there's this. Obviously collective of not just the three of you, but your families and your others in this group. And so do you find that the families of, and the others as part of this group are as connected to, [00:41:00] you know, what the three of you have?

And do you find that, that the others in the group receive or feel that special quality of what's happening amongst the three of you?

Kristina: Yeah, it's funny, I, I asked them about that before doing this and Emily's been doing advocacy work for a really long time and she knows a lot of people that I'm sure are much smarter, around medical stuff than us. And she was like, well, I wouldn't come to you guys for like, medical advice.

And, you know, like, again, we can, we can laugh about stuff, but I think we all feel a big benefit. Um, but again, like, it, it isn't, you know, we don't really talk about that. Like we don't really get into, um, it, it more just happens. Um, one thing that was really awesome that happened was, I know one other [00:42:00] person in the area of Ontario that Emily lives in and about a year ago, she was telling me a story about some guy at her dog park and I was like, that's our friend Graham.

Like that's who we stayed with when we came out to go to the hospital in Toronto. And a couple weeks later she was just having a rotten day and she needed to catch a train and she hadn't eaten properly. And we were talking on the phone and it was the middle of the day and I said to her, um, hmm, I, I just so wish I could just come and like, take you out and get you some protein and help you out and.

I ended up asking my husband for his friend's number and I called him and I said, like, how, how well do you know Emily, that woman from the dog park? And he's like, not, not that well, um, but well enough. Like we talk, I, I know what kind of tea she drinks 'cause she's always got it with her at the park. And I said like, is there any chance you could help her out [00:43:00] today?

Like, she's having a really rough day. And he was like, yeah, you bet. Um, you know, give me your number and I'll, and I'll text her. And I texted her and I just said, help is on the way. Like please accept it. And, um, he texted her, he went and picked her up, took her to a bakery, bought her a sandwich and a coffee, helped her book a train to Toronto and helped her figure out like a, a late checkout at the hotel the next day and drove her to the train station.

Krista: Wow.

Kristina: it just seemed like, you know, the. Best coming together of

Krista: Yeah.

Kristina: everything, you know, it was just so fantastic. And, um, yeah, it was just a weird little coincidence. But life is kind of like that

If you look for those opportunities for connection and kindness they appear and, um, yeah, it was super sweet to me [00:44:00] to be able to, you know, we're far across the country, but it was really nice to be able to help her out.

Um, yeah.

Andrea: It is so beautiful.

Krista: I think the world needs a lot more of that.

Kristina: Yeah.

Krista: Yeah. And it's so simple to do.

Andrea: the compassion, isn't it? It's, it feels like Born of Hearing one another's stories or Born of Education or born of information is compassion.

Kristina: Yeah, I, one time Emily said to me that she feels that, our health journeys had helped form our empathy and, um,

Andrea: Interesting.

Kristina: and, and I mean, that's the case with everybody for everything, right? Um, but it's meaningful to me. And I guess part of the reason that, [00:45:00] um, talking about this seemed like a good idea.

Um. Because it could have been about many things, right? I, I think women in their fifties and onward, I look at all my girlfriends and they're going through aging parents and they're going through career changes and that feeling of becoming invisible and, everybody's got their thing.

I could have chosen many things to talk about, but I, I guess what was important to me when, uh, when our mutual friend Jen mentioned this to me was that, um,

I like the idea of being in a different place than I was four years ago. And, and I, I like the idea of, celebrating that not being alone. in something. And [00:46:00] also,

not having this thing define me like I'm not really sure where it's going. You know, I think, um, all predictions suggested I shouldn't have been able to be having this conversation. And I'm doing great. I'm healthier than I was four years ago. Um, all the treatment around Lyme stuff that I've been undergoing from weird direction from universities in the states and stuff, who, you know, there's been an incredible amount of people that have taken up an interest in my situation.

Um, I bet my MRIs have been looked at by like 50 hospitals and universities around the world. What really matters to me is that, that thing that I said earlier where I, I didn't know if I was ever gonna be able to come back. Like I, I really didn't know if I would ever have a day where I just felt joy and happiness and [00:47:00] ease and, um, and most days are like that.

And I'm, and I'm super, super grateful that somewhere in my life I was taught to, follow the goodness and, and to value connections and to believe in, um, like as cheesy as this is, but kind of like the power of love and, you know, being with others, um,

Krista: Absolutely.

Kristina: yeah, it's given me freedom. In, in a really crappy situation.

Krista: Thank you.

Kristina: That's it, right? That's the end.

Andrea: the moment. Did you feel it?

Kristina: Yep. That's the end.

Andrea: I am covered in head to toe.

Krista: yeah. Thank you. if there's someone listening [00:48:00] and you wanted to leave them with a takeaway, if there's anything that's kind of top of mind that you could share, and if not, you could tell us later and we could put it in the show notes.

But o only if there's something that's really jumping out to you.

Kristina: I don't think that there is, um, yeah, I don't think that there is. but if people can find their brain buds where they can be honest and have other people say, like, me too, right? Like, yeah, you're not alone in this.

Even though Kevin and Emily have never said that, but it's pretty clear.

Andrea: You know,

Krista: sometimes you don't, you don't have to. It's the actions. Right. That

Kristina: Yeah.

Krista: pretty, pretty loudly.

Kristina: Yeah.

Krista: Hmm. Thanks Kristina. We really appreciate you sharing. I know it's can be tricky and uncomfortable to be vulnerable and, um, to share, but I, I'm really grateful [00:49:00] that you did.

Kristina: Thanks. Thanks, Andrea. Thanks Krista.

Krista: Thanks so much.

Andrea: So grateful. And I think my hope is with these conversations, with the stories, that like Brain Buds, Half Betty is a community that we're building that allows for women to belong and hear that others say, I have felt that way, or I have a similar experience that I'm going through right now. And so I feel really grateful to have had you share the building [00:50:00] of your community with Brain Buds and how that actually found itself. Um, because it just really feels as though it's a reflection on how powerful it can be to have. Those people with you to not be alone. So thank you so much and thank you Kevin and Emily out there. Shout out to those fabulous humans, we really appreciate you

Kristina: Yeah, it's good to have heroes.

Andrea: good to have heroes.

Krista: sure is

Andrea: Oh, that's gonna be the title.

Krista: good to have

Kristina: Oh yeah. Please make

Andrea: Oh, do you like that?

Kristina: I like that.

Krista: good to have

Andrea: good to have heroes. Oh, I just got, I just got my goosebumps. Good to have heroes.

Krista: Yeah.

Andrea: Thank you Kristina, so much.

Kristina: Oh, that made me kind of teary a little bit, that idea, like they really did, they showed me the way, right? [00:51:00] Yeah.

Krista: I'm sure you've showed them the way too, like it's, it's definitely reciprocal and maybe you don't know either how impactful you've been to them, but it's, um, yeah, I bet you it's reciprocal. Mm.

Kristina: I guess so. Otherwise they wouldn't let me in their WhatsApp group.

Krista: There you go. It's not official until you have a WhatsApp group.

Kristina: Better

Andrea: It's good to have heroes. These are the words that Kristina Spring said at the end of the conversation and it landed for all of us.

Not in the way that you'd expect. Not with any grand gestures, but with the story of three people who found each other at a time when they were most needed, three strangers with the same impossible diagnosis, who together decided that if they couldn't change the path they were on, they would be on it together.

A powerful community of three, they call themselves The Brain Buds. Kristina here in Vancouver, Emily in Toronto, [00:52:00] and Kevin in the UK. Oceans and miles apart, but bound by something that most of us cannot imagine. They've become each other's heroes, quietly, fiercely, and without fanfare. I'm Andrea Rathborne, and I'd love to invite you to listen to Kristina's story as she tells it for the first time.

Kristina: a signal group. Okay. Have a great day.

Andrea: Have a great day.

Kristina: Okay. Take care.

Andrea: Kristina chose to be in this conversation with us and with our listeners because she has moved into a new place, a place beyond the shock of diagnosis and beyond the fear of those early days. She wanted to tell her story now to speak about finding herself again, the self before the diagnosis, the self she once thought that she might've lost forever. The self that she found joy in the little things that life presents. This isn't a story of public campaign or a cause that needs joining. There's no group to sign up for. There's no hashtags to follow, and there's no digital space to visit.

Kristina didn't share her story to become a spokesperson or even a contact. She spoke up because these [00:53:00] stories matter, because community matters and because sometimes what changes a path for us is not the many, but the few. And because as a woman in her midlife with a story of catalyst and transformation, Kristina felt the draw to Half Betty and all those that may hear her story and possibly find a relatable moment.

Her path and her story is what we've heard today. The quiet heroism of showing up for each other, the power of connection, and the reminder that what carries us isn't always strength, but the simple act of not being alone. And as for Half Betty, with both Krista and I, you know where to find us. Take good care of each other.