Mary Lynn Cloghesy - Ep. 16

Andrea: Stories don't just tell us who we are. They introduce us to each other.

In this episode, Mary Lynn Cloghesy shares how storytelling has fueled her resilience, drive and community, especially as she's navigated her own midlife catalyst and stepped into a bold new chapter.

Krista and I are so grateful to have Mary Lynn join us today and hear her story as she shares the challenges and transformations that have defined this wild and unpredictable season of midlife.

Mary Lynn: We're all telling stories, and with that there's a lot of power and there's a lot of sense of community and sense of. Support, and, and I'm here for, the experience.

And I'm, and I welcome the opportunity, so thank you.

Krista: Can we try something? Andrea, I've been listening to this podcast, a friend of mine and it's just so great. And at the beginning of it, uh, when she starts, instead of her introducing the guest, she hands it over to them and she says, how would you like to introduce yourself today?

Andrea: Oh,

Krista: Do you wanna try it? Mary [00:01:00] Lynn,

Mary Lynn: yeah. Yeah. I'm game. I'm game. Sure.

Krista: Let's try it.

Mary Lynn: Okay. So how would I introduce myself? Um, well, my name is Mary Lynn Cloghesy. Uh, first and foremost, I'm a mum of four grown boys. I have one grandson and one brand new little peanut on the way, so I'm very happy about that. Um, yay. Yay. It's gonna be awesome. Um, I'm also a professional author.

I'm looking to, place my debut novel with a publisher right now. So I've been out querying like a mad woman, and I also teach the craft of writing. I specifically focus on experts in their fields, and so I, I've developed a program called The Leadership Literary Lab, and so, um, yeah, I help, uh, nonfiction authors write books, and then I write fiction myself.

So that's a part of the story. I think the other part is that I'm a bit of a health nut. I actually write a series on healthy living and longevity for writers, for the Alberta Writers Guild. And, I'm always doing things like running and skiing and biohacking and all [00:02:00] kinds of things, so that's a big part of my life as well.

So, yeah, the creative and maybe the, uh, the fitness side of me, and that's what came together.

Andrea: The scientist.

Krista: Yeah.

Andrea: Well, there's a lot to, there's certainly a lot to unpack in that.

Krista: mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Have you always had a Oh go, you go.

Andrea: Oh, sorry. Look at us. We're both, I, I was just gonna say I really appreciate all that you just shared and I, I particularly love that you said, first I am a mom to four grown boys. Um, I saw your face when you were speaking about that and your body language in this video, and I could see the joy and the pride in being. A mom and all that that must mean to you, and now a grandma and now a grandparent. So congratulations on, all of that wonder and delight of having all of those children and now these [00:03:00] grandchildren. really amazing.

I really appreciated hearing about your growing family.

Mary Lynn: Thank you. Yeah, I miss them. We've been traveling for two months, so I'm, uh, heading home actually at the end of the month and looking forward to, uh, connecting with my sons again. One lives in Montreal, that's the, the son that has the children. Um, but I'll see him soon enough. So, yes, very much enjoyed my travels and, and now looking forward to reconnecting with my boys.

So, yeah.

Andrea: And home is in.

Mary Lynn: Calgary, Alberta.

Andrea: Alberta. Nice. And has that been home for always or has that been home for a time?

Mary Lynn: It's been home for almost always. so I lived on Vancouver Island in Victoria for three years. But other than that, I've been in Calgary since I was in my teens. Um, I had a small stint in, Atlanta, Georgia, of all places, as a preteen or as a young teen. And then previous to that, we had been, living in Ontario,

Andrea: So you've done a real, um, circle and then landed back up in the middle again.

Mary Lynn: That's right.

Andrea: I love [00:04:00] it.

Krista: I am curious as to how long your, interest for health and also writing and storytelling has been there

And maybe that's one of your five words. I'm wondering if you could help bring us into these five words in that sense,

Mary Lynn: Yeah, sure. One of them was creativity, and it's funny because I remember being a girl. And I would daydream a lot and I would get in trouble for it in school, of course.

but my mom would look at me and I'd just start laughing for no reason. I remember she'd just look at me strangely. She goes, you're thinking funny. and so it was like I was the girl that used to think funny. And so these were the stories that played out in my head and, and I would live inside these stories.

And as a storyteller, as a professional storyteller, you wanna create something called the fictive dream. Now, this isn't a term that I coined. This is a term that a teacher, quite renowned teacher, John Gardner coined, called The Fictive Dream. And it's about the one and most important task of the author is [00:05:00] to, create a living experience for the reader.

And so that's really where storytelling started for me is when I was a girl. Um, you know, and I loved books like, Anne of Green Gables, Because she lived in her imagination too. And these timeless classics were near and dear to my heart. so that's that part of it. And fitness, you know, I've always been somebody that's,

I kind of pushed myself and having this shell that we exist in, it, it requires a little maintenance as you get older, I'm not gonna lie. Um, but for the duration, I mean, I did sports in school, I played volleyball. I did basketball in junior high. Um, then I, in high school, I kind of left that aside for boys and parties and, and all of that.

But it didn't take long to circle back to what really matters to me. So I do spend a lot of time in nature. I've also been a yoga teacher for many years. I don't teach any longer, but I'm trained in three different styles. And so I think active and healthy living is really important, and especially for women as we [00:06:00] age.

It's super important and I always push the limits of what I can do because the minute you accept that you can't, or you're less, or it will change. Then that's the message you're giving yourself, and I know how important stories are, and that's where the story of fitness comes in. So it's all about, telling yourselves the right stories and editing those storylines so that you can be your best and bring your best to your family and your art and your career.

Yeah. So creativity is one of

Andrea: That's beautiful. have you felt yourself as the author of your own story then? Does that really feel like a powerful part of what you're doing as you move through your own story?

Mary Lynn: You know, this is an example that I think will help clarify that for me starting when I was 49, I'm 57 now. I picked a theme every year on my birthday, and this is how a writer thinks. How am I gonna live this theme?

How am I gonna develop these themes? Who are the characters that play into these themes? And so, 49, I thought my theme was truth [00:07:00] 49. Well, when you set that up, you can imagine what that brings into your life, How are you deluding yourself? How are you seeing yourself in ways that are no longer true?

How are you seeing your future? So all of these questions came up. Needless to say, when I was 50, I got divorced. So that was one of the outcomes, but it was a good and healthy outcome for both of us. We are still friendly with each other, so, it's a way in which you can go deeper with yourself.

And so every year I've had a theme, and those themes have created the, story of my life, as you were saying, because every chapter has a different angle to it. for example, when I went back to grad school, um, in, I think it was 2021, I was terrified. I hadn't been into university in 30 years.

And I thought, oh, well what do I have to say? and how am I gonna keep up with these kids who've been in school for years and who know the latest and greatest? And, and things change even in the land of literature. I mean, it [00:08:00] used to be that there was fiction and nonfiction.

Now there are micro genres and sub genres and all kinds of things going on in the literary world and all kinds of, political agendas and forces and things like that. And, all of which is welcome. I mean, the arts pushes culture. That's what it does. But I felt like a fish outta water. And so my theme that year was Believe in me, 53.

And I, I post that on my computer and I looked at that every day and anytime I felt like I wasn't up for it. 'cause I had two dissertations to write. In fact, I ended up doing a graduate degree, which was another 300 pages in a different novel. Then went back and did my master's after that, which was two other dissertations.

so whenever I faltered and thought, I, I can't do this, I'm just, I'm way over my head. I don't know what I'm doing. I think, you know, and, and typically with writers, you're gonna think at some point your drafts are really terrible. Um, so I would look at that mantra, the mantra or theme, and it would carry me through.

And so that's one of the practices that I've stayed with and it's an anchor in my life. And the other part of that, so that's the internal [00:09:00] part of creating your story and and adopting theme. The other part of it is I'm always aware of who's paying attention, Especially with my children. We talked about family.

And so after I had gotten divorced, I thought, what kinda story do I wanna write? How do I want them to see me? They know I've struggled. So is that where I wanna leave them? Do I wanna leave them in that middle of that character arc where things are looking pretty dire and nobody knows where they're going and everybody's shaken.

Like, how do I wanna finish that story? and so it's like every year is a conscious choice about what story am I telling? What am I communicating to the people that I love? How am I serving my clients? am I being a great friend? So there's this editing process in your life that follows these storylines that you're creating.

And there's this conscious awareness, and that's why I love to write because it's all the subtext and all that awareness that underlays the surface of action and plot and all the dynamics of story. That to me is the richness of [00:10:00] a really welltold story.

Andrea: Gosh, I love this. you just said conscious awareness, that really lands, in this time where there's just so much for us to, feel that we need to listen to understand, digest.

Mary Lynn: I always try to be aware. of being polite and respectful and welcoming and kind. Kindness is an underrated virtue, and I think it's really core and critical to how we navigate these troubled times, right?

Andrea: I just wanted to go back to the words, so I heard, creative and I heard kind. Is that, would that be one more.

Mary Lynn: Yeah. That was one of my words. Yep.

Krista: The energy that you put out, even though we're not in a room together, I can feel your kindness and I can feel your passion too. And your care for telling stories and teaching too.

could we continue on the path of [00:11:00] some more words?

Mary Lynn: Yeah, for sure. Um, the word strong came to me. And, uh, because it's so multidimensional,There's physical strength, there's mental strength, there's emotional strength, there's spiritual strength. And what strength presumes is that capacity has been challenged in some ways.

And I think that is very true for me. And yet, in being strong to be able to remain soft, there's a strength in that, And so I felt that that word could be unpacked and discussed in a lot of different ways. I've always been somebody who's been a strident defender of my beliefs and of my family.

However, um, I'm not, your armchair warrior that's firing up social media and blasting other folks for their beliefs. I think that, strength involves understanding your weaknesses as well, So there's a lot of awareness. Again, this picks up our theme on awareness and creating that character that you believe in.

Looking at yourself with truth, um, understanding where do you need to build your strength. where can you lean [00:12:00] into the strength of others? so these are different, um, aspects. Like my husband, I have a wonderful husband. And, he's a rock and I love, he's incredibly detailed databased thinker, very logical.

I tend to be more emotional. so there are times when we miss, and yet I appreciate, his strength and he appreciates my candor in that way. And so, strength is a, is a funny thing. and strength can be misconstrued on the part of women, especially in ways, Strength can be very destructive if it's used and seen in the wrong way.

so I love thinking of women, especially as we get older and this inherent strength that we've developed in seeing the world and contributing, like I saw a little vignette on the TV and I think it caught part of an interview.

And it was about a woman who wrote a book,And it was about a group of women in their fifties who became operatives like Bond. Of course it was a fictional piece, but the reason she wrote it kind of made me sad and opened [00:13:00] my eyes because she said, you know, MI six or whatever their, real life version of that is, um, they believed that the most invisible people in the world were women over 50.

So they could be covert operatives better than anyone else. And I thought, wow, we need to show up in a way that shows strength, but in the appropriate ways that also honor our femininity and our sense of self and these stories that we're telling the themes we wanna create. But strength is a theme that runs through everything.

I think we need to really think about these pieces of what that can mean for each of us individually.

Krista: I think specifically with women, strength can be misconstrued as.overbearing.

Or, you know, we get all these other words that come with it. And to bring in confidence to know who you are, to know where you've come from, to know where you're going, what you want, what you don't want.

that is such a gift in our midlife.

Mary Lynn: There's a, there's a big difference [00:14:00] between being steady and having firm conviction and, and being abrupt and having, an edge that doesn't serve you well. I mean, in my, in my opinion, that's just how I've chosen to live. There are other artists that I've known and other women and other writers that, you know, they specifically create this brand around be having a different type of persona, and I respect 'em as well.

How do we find both those soft and hard edges so we can, not necessarily mold into each other, but make space for each other.

Krista: Mm-hmm.

Andrea: Hmm.

Strength and how you were describing that. It is so varied, and how it shows up differently. Um, I also believe or perhaps observe that like anything strength has been defined by society, by cultural norms, things that we become used to as being the definition of strength,

And I think similar to the origin story of what [00:15:00] Half Betty is about, which is to redefine what midlife looks like for women, I think too, strength is in some ways requiring some redefinition or some refining Because I think for many people, strength has been loud.

It has been, the biggest presence it is just the loudest thing, in all its forms that is how we perceive it. And yet to me, one of my own learnings as I've become older is that my own strength is actually now more in the quiet.

Um, it is in the contemplative. It is in the listening. It is in the, um, the thinking something, and maybe not saying it, it is in the way in which I move my body. Because of where I am physically. [00:16:00] Um, that is not big and bold and massive gestures, but it is really thoughtful movements and they're strong.

Soin some ways it is about redefining what strength looks like, and then how that can show up each person in a new kindrenaissance so I really appreciate how you positioned and shared that sense of, how important strength is and that it is one of your words that you are now.

Um, consciously, deciding is part of how your story, is unfolding. It's with that through line of strength, but perhaps it's showing up in, in new ways.

Mary Lynn: that's right.

Andrea: Um, creative kind, strong. What else?

Mary Lynn: here's a word, and I really debated whether I should say this, but I think it's very true of me [00:17:00] and I am very entrepreneurial. Um, and it's something that from my first job through to now where I'm approaching my sixties has defined my life. Um, I've never colored within the lines.

I've always tried to do things a little bit differently. so when I had my first job, um, I had graduated from university. This is my first degree. I was about 23 and I took an English degree, 'cause I love stories and that qualified me for absolutely nothing.and I had a poli sci major, which also qualified me for absolutely nothing.

So when I looked at communications and writings jobs, I looked at journalism, I looked at all different kinds of things. Now you have to remember, this was 30 years ago when it wasn't that common for women to necessarily be in university. Like it wasn't uncommon, but it wasn't like it is today. And so there wasn't a lot of, career paths you had to carve your own way. So when I, I needed some money. I took a temp job, reading files of all things, [00:18:00] organizing files. It was for an oil and gas company. So what I did to make it more interesting is I read those files and I was allowed to do this.

I did not breach any confidentiality or anything because I had to know what was inside them. So I read those files and I wrote a proposal to the president of the oil and gas company to create a position for me. I said. Dear sir, you absolutely need a communications coordinator.

I actually still have it today. I kept a copy of it

I put quotes from news people about agency and women and letting women take charge. And to, to his credit, he gave me the job. And I ended up working with that company for about four years. and what I didn't know at the time is this was one of the stalwarts in the industry back in the eighties.

it became an intermediate oil and gas company and my boss was the CFO And him and I together created a whole department that then became other types of departments within the company And you would think I would've stayed put because I had this oil and gas job, right.

And I negotiated because I ended up being,a [00:19:00] single mom at the time. So I had worked for about a year, became pregnant unexpectedly. And I renegotiated my contract and thought for sure I would be out. But they really valued what we had created together. And even when remote work wasn't a thing, I negotiated a four day work week with full benefits as long as I worked from home at night when my son was asleep.

So I did that after maternity leave for a year, and then I was back full-time. so as I said, I've done things a little differently. After that I ended up, creating a company. 'cause I realized the skillset that I had developed

So the dog and pony shows for when they were raising funds within the resource industry. I mean, there was a boom back in those days. everybody needed to tell their story and to raise funds and to have their annual reports and their quarterly reports, submitted with a bit of flash and dash so that they could attract investment,

I ended up, leaving that job after four years, even though I would've probably had a career based position for the duration, taking a full risk. I said to them, I can consult for you or I can, I'm [00:20:00] being honest with you, I'm gonna consult on the side. And they said, no, you can't stay an employee with us and consult for anybody else, which I understood.

So they became one of my clients. and then I built my own company called ML Communications. And I ran that for a decade. before I met my second husband and, having three children. I ended up shutting down the business 'cause uh, well here's, here's one final story.

I know I'm going on about this, but it was kind of a funny one because I thought, sure, I can work, I can have two babies, I can work, of course I can. my oldest son was about seven or eight at the time, and I put this brand new baby who was about six weeks I put him on the dryer because if I turn the dryer on and it had that little shake to it and it had the warmth to it, it would keep him happy while I was firing out presentations and things like that to get this work done.

And I remember my husband coming home and I just, picked that baby up 'cause the buzzer went off. I didn't get him quite soon enough, and he was screaming and I was crying and I just said, I can't do this. So, in a way it sounds strange, but it was another risk because I let go [00:21:00] of everything I had built for like 15 years.

And so I,stayed home and. I did a lot of volunteer work. one project I'm really proud of, was I helped, create a marketing campaign for a Canadian NGO and they were called Healthy Child Uganda. And they were trying to promote safe birthing kits for mothers in a very Catholic country where a lot of the funders and donors for this organization were Catholic.

So they wouldn't, support this because there was some birth control involved in these birthing kits. After the fact, there was some training and it was more about giving birth, but also the knowledge about what does it mean to support life after you give birth, so we ended up, getting that funded and decreasing infant mortality in those communities over, the course of about a couple of years, by 40%.

So that was a really satisfying project. And then I ended up owning a yoga studio, and then I went back to school and then I did another health-based business. So I did all kinds of things. it's just been a big part of my life. I really love shaking the trees and challenging myself and just seeing [00:22:00] what I can do in the world of business, because I love to help people and I think it's really fun.

Andrea: We definitely could be on this call for hours to hear so many of these stories unpacked. this is your entrepreneurial spirit showing up not only in your work, but across almost all aspects of your life. you said

I debated, and so I'm curious, why did you debate? What was there for you?

Mary Lynn: I didn't want it to sound like a sales pitch for my business because that's not why we're here. And I also didn't want to come off as being somebody that's, hard-nosed around business because to me, being an entrepreneur, the spirit part of it appeals to me. That's the yoga, that's the creative, it's a spirit of let's see what we can do.

Let's see what we can create that kind of makes life better for everybody. How can we, have fun in the world and be productive and create something meaningful and have fun doing it. So [00:23:00] fun is one of my other words. and again, I debated that one too because well, it's a bit frivolous.

But in a way when we get older, there is a tendency to take yourself a little too seriously, right? I mean, we can't leave all the fun for the youngsters can we. So I'm a big fan of celebrating and at little moments, big moments, and finding joy, Finding joy in whatever you do, even when, things aren't necessarily going that well.

For me, I've been querying this novel now that I've written for a good part of six months. Any writer will tell you, you are going to get rejection after rejection. It is just the nature of the beast. And so, I heard a story from Stephen King,

and what he said is when he was early in his career and he got his rejections, he used to write in an attic.

So you picture him in this attic and these exposed rafters, and he's got papers flying everywhere, right? So he had a nail that came out of one of the, walls, And he would just stuff every, rejection he had on [00:24:00] that nail.

And when he finished that nail, he'd turn it over and then pick another nail. I thought, wow, if Stephen King can do that, I can certainly have some fun with it and just, yep, there's another, yep. you know, and just enjoy the process because it's really easy to find joy when things are good, but it's a challenge to find it when it's not.

And so that's part of the game for me.

Andrea: I love how you can pull from all your experiences big and small, starting businesses and what you can take from that all the way down to, a gesture or, an interaction and what you can take from that.

Krista: I like how all the words go with each other, the strength, but then the fun, The creative in everything that you've brought into your life, It's the kindness, with the volunteering and the strength of knowing when to stop. When you've reached your limit.

The buzzer goes, the baby's crying, the husband comes home, and then the fun that can come in all of this, if you can choose to see the fun in all of it too

Mary Lynn: Well give yourself [00:25:00] permission to have fun and fun. Doesn't need to be destructive, right?

Krista: yeah,

Mary Lynn: How can we find life fulfilling, emboldened, adventurers, How can we be adventurous and have fun and yet honor all of our responsibilities, honor the people in our lives, take care of the things that we need to take care of? These things are not diametrically opposed.

I remember when this movie, the Dead Poet Society came out. It was all about carpe diem, remember? Well, there's a caveat on carpe diem. Carpe Diem doesn't necessarily mean you hit the road and you take off and you leave everybody behind.

That's not the principle of Carpe Diem. It means seize the day.

Krista: Yeah.

Mary Lynn: But keep in mind, there are people in your life that are in that day with you,

Krista: Yeah, yeah,

Andrea: And how you might affect them.

Mary Lynn: yeah,

Andrea: Or how you might impact them,

Mary Lynn: that's right.

Krista: And the world around you.

Andrea: and the world around you. Do you feel that through the authoring of this life, this full, rich, [00:26:00] dynamic life, do you feel that in the years that you've, lived in this, midlife chapter, do you think there is something that you feel is a true catalyst or pivot point,

Mary Lynn: So it was just before we found out about the pandemic. And I had come back to Calgary. I was living in Victoria at the time, and there was a, traumatic experience with my son. And he was upset and we were going to midnight mass.

I grew up Catholic. So this was Christmas Eve, and he ended up leaving the church, and I ended up following him quickly,and I had heels on. Now, keep in mind, some instinct in the back of my mind said, you probably shouldn't be wearing those. But I ignored it, and it's very rare that I ignored that instinct.

So I I was chasing after 'em, and I ended up going off on black ice, and my feet went up, and my head went back and I was on a hill. So my head smacked. It reverberated and it smacked again. And I remember hearing at the back of my [00:27:00] neck.

and so I had a major concussion and whiplash for, a good four years, but for the first few months of that, I was also at the time just getting divorced. So I had to navigate a difficult divorce. I also had to navigate, this is different of course, than my current husband who I'm still with.

Um, I had a business that I had set up with him and so I had to extricate four people from a partnership and I could barely sit up and think straight. I remember being in incredible pain, emotional pain, physical pain, mental pain. I think I felt exhausted in every possible way a human can,

and yet at that moment, I remember I sat, so I had moved out from my house and I was living in a tiny little one bedroom apartment thinking about coming back to Calgary where my sons lived. And I remember in that moment I thought, well, you need silence. You need to just stop for a minute. Allow yourself to not solve all of these problems right [00:28:00] now.

allow yourself to sit on the couch and look out at these beautiful large trees that were, still green, even in December, and to just rest. And that was a critical point for me because if I had pushed through, now of course this was a shorter period of time, but if I had pushed through, I don't think I would've been able to reset.

I think I would've had an extended period of distress depression, exhaustion. And so I listened to that instinctive voice then that said, you just need to stop for a while. And because I rested and I gave myself that chance to just, I just read, I remember I, I played music, so I, I played a little bit of my keyboard.

I read and I watched Netflix and I did that for about a week. And I thought, okay, I got some treatments on my neck, with a naturopathic doctor. That was a long journey to heal those injuries. But even just that short break, giving myself permission was the hard part.

And so that [00:29:00] conscious awareness of stop, stop right now and give yourself the opportunity to refresh your energy and refresh your spirit and love and kindness. that was really important. that's one of the critical moments 'cause I think for, women, we tend to bully ourselves a little bit and push through, difficult moments.

And there are times for that. But there are also times to rest.

Krista: What did the world look like around you when all of that was happening and you were making that choice to slow down and stop

Mary Lynn: Well, there was a lot of talk at the time about COVID, right? And because I had separated from my husband, this is the funny part, I had planned, to go on five trips. I'm not kidding you now, that weren't all gonna happen in that period. But I had planned, um, to go to, I'm a yoga teacher, right? So I planned a five day yoga retreat.

I planned to go up to Terrence BC and spend some time, um, in an indigenous community up there just. Experimenting with plant medicine, never did it. I planned to go visit my son who was living in,

Malibu at the time. so I had a lot of things planned. [00:30:00] And there was this busyness and there was this buzz and it was very dynamic. There was this dynamic and there was distress and I was sensitive to the distress going on previous to the COVID conversations.

And so that's why, for me it's that creative and conscious awareness. It's that kindness to self. it's that ability to be strong and make these decisions, even if they're not popular.

Andrea: Mm-hmm.

Mary Lynn: sometimes the best decisions aren't. And so all of these pieces came together in this moment where I said, yep, everything needs to stop for a little while.

And by the end of it, it was really good because I was clear-minded. I had my energy back. I had thought through my situation, I had a plan and I,quickly executed it, which was great because I think,my partners had called me and said, thank you, for setting us up in this way for not tearing things apart, for not being vindictive, for not, being reactive.

And so sometimes that pause is super critical, even when it seems like it's inconvenient or probably not the thing that other people are asking you to do. [00:31:00] So that's, again, conscious awareness.

Krista: Mm.

Andrea: Do you think full circle beginning of our session today? you shared that today was the introduction where you've been doing a cleanse and you went on to share you've been doing this for some time and it's a reset.

It reminds me now a little bit of what you've just described in taking this week to pause and nurture your body and give yourself space and time. Do you feel like that time in 2020 when this experience happened and you made this decision, do you believe that that has also been, a catalyst for that now being part of your practice in other ways? And is that something that you now do consciously in your life?

Mary Lynn: Oh, absolutely. You know, as a younger mom, I had my hands full of babies, and I remember thinking, okay, I've gotta [00:32:00] get the groceries now because then I have to do nap time here and then I gotta pick up from daycare. uh, so let me fast forward a few years.

I remember there was this one day when all four of my boys were in sports and I got in the car at seven in the morning and I drove literally nonstop till five o'clock at night.

And it was, again, one of these watershed moments where I sat on the front steps of my house and my husband came home and I burst into tears. I'm like, this has to stop. I, I went through and together we vetted the schedule. We're like, every boy gets one sport per semester. That's it.

That's it, that's all I got for, that's all I can handle. so that was the start of it when I was younger, but I have this tendency to push, What I've learned over the years is when to push and when to take the foot off the pedal. when does it make sense to, challenge myself and when does it make sense to be kind to myself?

Always kind, but when is it time to show that self care in a more direct and immediate way? And I think [00:33:00] that's really changed. I talk about longevity for writers. I think that fundamental shift. Will help me create the story that I'm living, um, in a healthy way and hopefully in a way that inspires my children, um, through the duration.

what better legacy to leave, right?

Krista: It's so good. you're so wise and you're so kind to share these thoughts and these stories with us, and I think it might be fun to talk about what you're doing now and how you're helping others tell their stories. Because what you're

with this lab is. So incredible and it allows, well, I'm just gonna stop. I want you to talk about it because I think a lot of people wanna tell their stories and they stop immediately because it's so incredibly overwhelming.

Mary Lynn: Right. And so this is the number one thing it's overwhelming and it's hard to [00:34:00] start and I don't know what to say and nobody cares. And these are all the different pieces, right? So what I've done is I've thought, okay, I'm gonna sit down and, I'm gonna just take a quick shot at some of the programs out there, only because a lot of them are driven by ai, by marketers who don't know how to write.

So anybody out there looking to write a book, even a story, even to start to do journaling, please pick an actual writer. That's all I care about. Doesn't have to be me. Pick somebody who is living and breathing the craft. It is an art form and it grows with you. It can be incredibly empowering and incredibly healing and exactly the right thing when you have the right support.

So the Leadership Literary Lab is a four phase program that I developed. It's taken me two years to put it together because I wanted to create a process step by step that says, oh, you don't know what to do. Let me show you here. It's so easy. All you have to do is this next step. Let me show you here.

It's just that easy. and the whole point [00:35:00] is to do what these other programs neglect to do, which is what I'm gonna call the spade work. It's all the stuff that happens before you put the words on the page. Because if you do your spade work and what I'm gonna call pre-writing, there's four phases.

So your spade work is stuff that's digging into your experience. What are the gems? What do you need to unearth, how do you fertilize that soil? What do you need to leave in the soil for now? What can grow later? so it's all these decisions about who are you, what's your story, and what is the one key theme we talked about, theme that you wanna focus on in this piece.

Because people get overwhelmed when they can't find that gem. And oftentimes what happens is it's because they have more than one story in them and they don't belong in the same place, And so the whole point of the lab is to give them all the support materials they need to find that gem, to give them a process they need to grow that story.

And then to [00:36:00] prepare them for the latter phases, which are, what does it mean to work with an editor? What does it mean to look into publishing? What are your options? What are the dollars and cents of this? Like I wanted to create a program that would take them from A to Z. Whether you're self-publishing or looking for an agent, it doesn't matter which field you're in, if you have a story to tell, this process will help you.

and I just poured my heart and soul into it because I know how difficult it is. And I think it's really important for those of us who have these stories to tell them.

Krista: So how has it been received?

Mary Lynn: Okay, I'm gonna tell you a story, and I love this story. one of my first authors, had this idea. she is from Australia, and her nephews were A-League players. it's the highest league in Australia,

And then these players get called up in to Europe and other places. anyways, so because her kids also play soccer, which is called football there, [00:37:00] they were going through trials and dealing with the emotional, consequence of being cut from the team as early as eight years old. So she wrote a book called "Making It or Not: The Real, Journey Told by Professional Players". she interviewed five or six of these professional level players. And the way we structured the book, and this is what The Literary Lab does, is we said, okay, what do kids in the junior years need to think about and what are their challenges?

What do the kids in the youth program need to think about? What do the kids that are on track to go professional really need to, what does this really look like? And these players were amazing. Some of these stories about the sacrifice, what you see in the media is not the way, not the real story.

I mean, two of the girls, who are currently on the Matildas. Were delisted for the World Cup, which will only happen in their country once in their lifetime. and so they were asked to do the broadcasts for the World Cup when they wanted to be on the field, right?[00:38:00]

So this is a powerful book. And the end part of it was from a psychologist that talked about this. So this was Amy's passion to write this book. So we did it. And here's the cool thing you wanna talk about how effective the Leadership Literary Lab is. She got a traditional contract and that never happens with an author out of the gates.

They had that book in and through production in six months with very little editing because we had tightened it up. We had, and oh, this is the other thing. as part of The Literary Lab, we also wrote I think it's called Soccer Australia, football Australia. a sponsorship proposal for the book.

And they actually called her back and they had some back and forth meetings on what they can do to support this at a national

Andrea: Oh my gosh.

Krista: Wow.

Mary Lynn: So, so there's a lot of pieces with The Literary Lab that came into that. And what I love is, ever since she did that book, she's now on podcasts, she's writing articles, um, in the industry there, and she's actually thinking about writing another book. So she's become an, inspiring author in her own right when she showed up. And she had never written so much as beyond a school [00:39:00] paper. And so love her story. Amy's works very hard, but, if you follow the process, it'll work.

That's the thing. if you follow the process, it will work and you'll have fun doing it, because that's one of my keywords. You gotta have fun.

Andrea: Fun. Gotta have fun, find the joy.

Krista: Well, we talk about that all the time. We, at the very beginning of Half Betty, we were talking about, partnering together and we hadn't known each other for very long, and we were jumping into this new, adventure together. And Andrea's like, Hey, listen, she just stopped me one day.

She was like, listen, if it's not fun, we have to talk about it and change that and start having fun. Okay. And I was like, deal. So yeah.

Mary Lynn: doesn't feel like work when you're having fun. Right?

Krista: Yeah.

Andrea: it's true because that also infuses into whatever it is that you are creating and people feel it on the other side, on the receiving end, right? You can feel that.

Mary Lynn: yes.

Andrea: Um, and we do, we have fun all the time,

[00:40:00] Um, Mary Lynn, you have written a book

Mary Lynn: I have,

Andrea: yourself and you are

putting that book out there in the world, can you tell us a little bit about that book and what is it about, and is it your, is it your first book?

Mary Lynn: It is my first book, actually, I wrote a children's book. So there is a children's book if you wanna check it out on Amazon. It's called The Supercomputer Caper.

Andrea: we'll put that in the show notes for sure. But the, but your book that you are getting out into the world. Tell us about that.

Mary Lynn: It's called "The Chain Link Murder" So my husband, let me give you the background. We've been going to a conference in Nashville called Killer Nashville, which is for mystery thriller and suspense writers, because I'm still figuring out exactly what genre I wanna write in.

So he was entering a competition. He says, honey. You want some skin in the game, you gotta enter too. And so I wrote this and I ended up getting shortlisted for the award. So what this is, it's about this young clairvoyant who's 21 years old, and she ends up being called to this parochial school.

So this old historic Catholic school, [00:41:00] which is loosely based on St. Ann's in Victoria, and uh, a body of a young female former student is found impaled on a chain link fence. so what this ends up being is her estranged grandmother comes back to town and reveals there's a secret sorority of women, students at the school called the Bellflowers.

And they were formed over 150 years ago. think of it as a female John Wick, right? Where there's this clandestine organization that's, you know, incubates through the school. And at first, Claire thinks it's a very cut and dry case. The police say, oh, well they're target, because the victims was from a shipping family was targeted.

So this drug syndicate could use their ports. But she finds that there's a nun with a vendetta who is haunting the tower, and the bell tower plays a part in her death. So there's two intersecting storylines that go back and forth between this historic figure with the nun who actually ended up murdering a student in the 1960s during Vatican two.

And the current Bellflower, they're both bellflowers. That's the key. with with the drug [00:42:00] syndicate. So I know I'm giving you a lot, but it comes together quite beautifully at the end. And the gist of it is this young woman finds out that her value doesn't necessarily lie in her gift.

It's part of what she has to offer the world, but she is inherently valuable just for being herself. And she's asked to join the sorority at the end, the secret sorority that her grandmother is part of. Because she can be a key player in certain things that are happening in very powerful ways, and she has to make that decision.

So that's kind of, um, where that book ends up going. So

Krista: sounds

Mary Lynn: be the beginning of the

Krista: so good.

Andrea: It sounds ama I'm, uh, like we've got a book for Krista's sons, and then we have a book that could be for every single other person that's going to be listening, and certainly for Krista and I right now.

Mary Lynn: It was really fun to write. It was really fun. you have to be audacious as a writer, you don't want this to be boring.

So there's a whole bunch of history and some really cool stuff wrapped up in this story.

Krista: So when is it coming out? Do you know yet?

Mary Lynn: No, but I have a [00:43:00] suggestion if anybody's interested in finding out, uh, it's, I am querying it right now. I've had some requests from publishers join my Substack, which is my newsletter on Substack, it's called Wild Rose Writer.

If they can join that on Substack, you guys will be the first to hear. Um, and what I do on the Substack newsletter is I just update my progress as a writer. I talk about where I'm teaching, um, I talk about what I'm teaching and I talk about what I'm writing.

Andrea: Gosh, this is so exciting.

Krista: We'll sure to put your Substack show notes as well. And, um, okay.

Mary Lynn: we're gonna be following through your substack and through your website. if someone's interested in the Literary Lab, what's the best way for them to get ahold of you and learn more about that?

So there is a contact page on the Leadership Literary Lab. it's leadershipliterarylab.com. Just fire up an email or if you wanna go to my fiction website, they go directly to me.

I answer everything personally. So, MaryLynnCloghesy.com or  leadershipliterarylab.com and just [00:44:00] tell me your story. Always happy to chat with people. There's absolutely no, pressure. I am not somebody that coerces stories outta people. I'm happy to help serve them if they want to tell their story.

Krista: Oh, that's amazing.

Andrea: What a beautiful, beautiful offer, uh, with all the story behind it of your extraordinary authored life, with all the stories of challenge and joy that you found in all the pieces. I feel incredibly inspired and I also, I'm going to be reaching out 'cause don't we all have a book?

Mary Lynn: I think we all do.

Andrea: all have a book

Mary Lynn: And please, women don't let the overwhelm or the fear or the, I don't know what to do, stop you. Because there is a method, and I know it works, whether you choose me or somebody else, there are people who can help you. And please don't let that sit inside you because we need mentors.

Andrea: Thank you so much.

Mary Lynn: Thank you. I really [00:45:00] enjoyed this. It's been really fun.

Krista: Thanks Mary Lynn, you really are so inspiring and that joy really pulls through in all your stories and all the learnings and your energy, it's been such a joy to be here in your presence and hear from you

Mary Lynn: Thank you so much.

Andrea: And this is just the beginning because like stories, there are many, many, many chapters and sometimes there's a series. Uh, if we're lucky and I have a feeling that this is a series, so here's to many more,

Mary Lynn: I would love that. I totally welcome that opportunity

Andrea: Thank you.

Krista: And, for our listeners, if you wanna hear more stories from Half Betty, we've got so many to choose from. You can go to our website, halfbetty.com, of course, on Instagram. And you can see our personal, LinkedIn pages. And we would love to hear from you especially if this episode really resonates with you and you wanna share it with somebody, use it as a tool to start talking to them

so thank you for joining us today. We're so appreciative of your [00:46:00] time

Thanks everyone.